Five Psychology Tricks That Will Help You Feel Happier
It’s easy to see why it’s so hard to be happy these days. People are working jobs they hate, struggling to pay their bills, and living in an increasingly isolated, digital world. And this lack of happiness has real consequences that go beyond just feeling sad : When you’re unhappy, you’re less productive and less stable, and that feeling of powerlessness can quickly turn into a rut that’s hard to get out of. And happiness leads to greater stability and productivity , both of which lead to more happiness.
There are steps you can take to break out of this cycle. Some are physical—spending more time in nature, exercising more, or connecting with people in person—but you also have the most powerful happiness engine in the universe inside your head. You can use your own mind to trick yourself into being happier—though it’s important to note that while these tips can help anyone change their outlook and improve their mood, they are not a substitute for formal therapy or medication.
Pay attention to what you like
Feeling depressed can become a vicious cycle: You feel sad or unmotivated, so you skip the things that make you happy. Friends invite you out, but you’re not in the mood, so you stay home. You have a day off, but you feel too sluggish to pursue the hobbies that bring you joy. When trying to break this cycle, we tend to focus on eliminating the negative. Instead, you should try to amplify the positive.
Research has shown that you can treat happiness like a muscle. The strategy, called “reward sensitivity,” means actively noticing positive emotions and taking the time to savor them. If something makes you happy, even momentarily, take the time to write down and catalog that feeling. Then find it again. Being aware of what makes you feel good and pushing yourself to re-live those experiences can teach you to be happier overall.
Use the technique of “behavioural activation”
Research has shown that a cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) skill known as behavioral activation can help us become happier. Depression and unhappiness can often become a vicious cycle—we stop doing things that make us happy because we’re depressed. This can manifest as avoidance: if going for a run reliably makes you feel better, you find reasons why you can’t go for a run right now—it’s too hot, you don’t have the right clothes, there’s not enough time for your usual route. Avoiding these pleasurable behaviors makes you even more unhappy, deepening the cycle.
Behavioral activation is a technique where you do these pleasurable activities even when you don’t feel like doing them. You may not feel like that particular run (or doing laundry, or pursuing a hobby) right now, but simply doing that behavior consistently will improve your mood. If you start planning activities that you think you’ll enjoy, you can “train” your mind to be happier in reality.
Challenge your critical thinking
We often become depressed because we repeat negative messages about ourselves and ourselves. If you are constantly criticizing yourself, it begins to seem like the natural state of things. A trick that can work wonders is to challenge this negative view by forcing yourself to defend your position – a process known as Socratic questioning . If your position is that you suck and will never get what you want in life, challenge these thoughts by asking yourself to provide facts that support your perceptions, how other people might see you, and how you would react if someone else told you they felt the same way. By challenging and questioning your negative thinking, you can rob it of some of its power.
The Socratic Method was studied in the context of therapist-administered questioning, but there are also worksheets you can use to try out the technique yourself.
Use the One Minute Rule
For a quick mood boost, try the One Minute Rule: Identify tasks and chores that you can complete in one minute or less. These are simple things, like putting something away, responding to a text message, or packing an item for return. Because these tasks are quick, they require relatively little effort to complete, but the feeling of accomplishment is often the same as with larger, more complex tasks. By practicing the One Minute Rule several times a day, you train yourself to experience this sense of accomplishment and internalize its positive effects. Plus, the effects of the rule are tangible—you can see your desk getting cleaner, your inbox getting more organized, your life getting more streamlined.
Practice compassion
Compassion—empathizing with others’ suffering and wanting to help—can be learned, and research has shown that people who “practice compassion” for others are happier and more resilient. There’s also evidence that talking to yourself and practicing self-compassion is directly linked to your happiness. While it may seem silly at first, writing yourself a note or giving yourself a pep talk, as if you were talking to your best friend, can have a real and powerful impact on your happiness. Practicing self-compassion can also involve treating yourself kindly, offering yourself small acts of kindness.
Being unhappy and depressed often leads to self-criticism, constantly beating ourselves up for our shortcomings. Reversing this script and constantly reminding ourselves of how wonderful we really are helps rewire our thinking, which leads to greater happiness.