How to Become a Pope
As the world mourns the death of Pope Francis on April 21, the Catholic Church is preparing to choose a new leader. Cardinals come to the Vatican from all over the world to take part in the papal conclave, an ancient ritual/election that ends with the selection of a new Pope. You may be wondering if you could be this new dad. This almost certainly won’t happen, but I believe it’s possible . So, if you’re interested in this work or just curious about what the process involves, here are the highlights of how dads are chosen.
The head of the Holy Roman Catholic Church is a prestigious position that offers excellent benefits, including international travel, job security, frequent media appearances and fine hats. You can set your own work schedule, hire friends for any position, and rule a small but wealthy city-state. You will be the last absolute monarch in Europe. If you like job titles, how does the phrase “Heir of the Prince of Apostles” appeal to you? It’s one of eight jobs the next Pope will inherit, all of which are more impressive on LinkedIn than “assistant district manager.”
If papacy sounds like a career opportunity you’d like to explore, here’s what it takes to get the job.
How much money does the Pope make?
Let’s start with money. The average U.S. Pope earns $45,931 a year, according to salary comparison site Comparable.com, but that’s not accurate—the position of Pope doesn’t come with a salary. The idea is that you live as Christ lived through the kindness of others. But over the past few thousand years, these “others” have been very generous: the Vatican and the Catholic Church are worth an estimated $30 billion, and essentially it’s all yours. As the monarch of a small country, you can get anything you want or need just by asking for it, so despite the low salary, jobs are only sought for the benefits.
How is the Pope chosen?
The church does not publish information about the selection of a new leader on Indeed.com . Instead, 138 of the world’s 252 cardinals (all cardinals under 80) will gather in Rome to lock themselves in the Sistine Chapel and hold papal elections. No doubt this gets dramatic. So dramatic that a film was made about it, Conclave 2024, which describes the election of a new Pope.
According to the producers of Conclave , the Vatican has openly provided logistical details for the papal conclave, but has remained silent about its content. Conclave participants are sworn to absolute secrecy about the discussions they have during the process of choosing a Pope, so you have to imagine the politics, alliances and bargaining that goes on in such a high-stakes meeting. The Pope sets the agenda for the entire Catholic Church, and the next Pope will be chosen based on Pope Francis’ focus on social justice, environmental issues and inclusion. He was quite a progressive man (for a Pope), and whether the cardinals will choose someone who will advance Francis’ plans or abandon them will certainly be debated. Or they’ll just all play FIFA ; you really don’t know.
The actual election proceeds as follows: Each cardinal writes the name of his choice on a piece of paper, and one by one they solemnly deposit their vote in a chalice placed in front of Michelangelo’s fresco of The Last Judgment. The votes are counted and if no one receives a two-thirds majority, the votes are burned in a special oven along with chemicals that produce black smoke. This way, everyone outside the chapel will know that the cardinals are still unhappy.
There are four rounds of voting per day, and the process continues until one lucky voter is approved. If there is no clear winner after 34 elections, the Cardinals can choose any selection method they want. If they wanted, they could draw straws to see who gets the job. Back in the 1270s, Pope Gregory X decreed that the longer the conclave lasted, the less food the cardinals would be given, but this rule was later revoked. Once the (well-fed) cardinals have agreed on a person, be it a two-thirds vote or an arm wrestling tournament, the ballots are burned with chemicals that produce white smoke, so everyone outside knows that a successor has been chosen. The new Pope then chooses a name, dresses in fashionable clothes and is taken to the balcony of St. Peter’s Basilica to be introduced. The senior cardinal deacon announces, “Habemus Papam!”, which roughly translates to “This guy is the new boss!”
Who has the right to become Pope?
To become Pope, you must be a member of the Roman Catholic Church and must be male. That’s it. You do not need a degree from a community college or any special certification or training. You can have any background and be from any part of the world. You don’t have to be a cardinal or even a priest. Pope Gregory X was elected pope in 1271 (after a conclave that lasted over two years) and was not ordained priest until the following year, which is what happened. All you have to do is put your name on 2/3 of these papers, but that’s the hardest part.
As one would expect from the highest echelon of a world religion, the position of Pope tends to go to an insider. Since 1379, each pope has been elected from among the voting cardinals. So unless you ‘ve spent your entire life working your way up the ranks of the Catholic Church to get into the special room to choose the pope, your chances of becoming pope are slim. But there is a chance.
How to influence cardinal voters
In the modern era, most new popes are elected after the death of the old pope, as in the case of Pope Francis; but before that, Pope Benedict XVI resigned due to a complex internal church scandal. Wait, maybe it was “for health reasons.” In any case, a period of 15 to 20 days usually elapses between the end of the reign of the last Pope and the beginning of the papal conclave. During this period without a pope, the Church is governed by a cardinal ” camerlengo “, or “chamberlain”, whose duties include organizing the conclave and destroying the deceased pope’s ring. In this case, Cardinal Kevin Farrell will lead the transition. He’s the first American citizen to ever hold that position, and he spent most of his career in the Archdiocese of Washington, so ask any friend in Washington if they know Farrell and he might be able to give you a recommendation.
If you are not friends with high-ranking Catholic dignitaries, you can try to organize a secret campaign to get elected. During the conclave, the cardinals take up residence in the Casa Santa Martha, a building next to the Sistine Chapel, so you know exactly where voters will spend their free time. You have a few weeks to get to the Vatican and make friends with the staff of the House of St. Martha. Maybe you can convince them to talk about you in a way that the cardinals can overhear. The average salary at the Vatican is low, about $36,574 per year, so it probably wouldn’t hurt to grease your palms. Perhaps the two valets could say, “Do you know who’s going to be a great Pope? Steve Johnson! He’s a writer from Los Angeles. A really good guy,” while Cardinal Giovanni Battista Re walks into the Holy Roman Empire cafeteria.
Another potential path is to develop a spiritual vision. Using high-tech spy equipment—holograms, hidden speakers, mind control beams—a potential dark horse candidate could orchestrate a common spiritual manifestation for all cardinals. These are supposedly religious people, so they would probably take it seriously if they were visited by a choir of angels singing your name. And when they told the other cardinals about it and they had the same vision? How could they not choose you? If these two methods don’t help you get the job, you may need to take a more drastic approach.
Unconventional ways to become Pope
Modern papal succession is relatively stable, but in the past chaos allowed some unconventional popes to rise to power. Beginning in 1268, the papal conclave lasted almost three years and only ended when a local mob locked up the cardinals and fed them nothing but bread and water, demanding that they choose a pope or suffer great violence and death, which may help explain why they chose the non-priest Gregory X.
In the 14th century, Roman peasants broke into a conclave to ensure that the cardinals would not elect a French pope (racists). They said to the cardinals: “Give us a pope, otherwise your heads will be as red as your hats,” and this is even more stupid. The cardinals chose the Italian as a compromise, but Pope Urban VI immediately began to criticize the cardinals and forbade them from accepting bribes from kings and pocketing money from the collection plate. As you would expect, he was overthrown (don’t meddle in people’s lives, right?) and another Pope was elected. But Urban VI still called himself pope, so for a while there were two popes (or pope and antipope, if you prefer). Then, in 1409, French and Roman cardinals elected another pope to restore order. Neither of the two existing popes resigned, so there were three popes. It was a mess, but to be elected Pope required something as dramatic and unprecedented as a popular uprising. So ask yourself if the work is really worth it.
Heavy is the head wearing daddy’s hat
When you become Pope you will immediately be among the most famous people in the world, but it is a strange kind of fame. You drive amazing custom cars, fly in a private jet and command a small army of 110 soldiers. But you don’t get invited to the Oscars parties. You can’t live the life of the hedonistic rock star popes of the past like John XII (955–964), who gave land to his mistress, killed his enemies, and was killed by a man who caught him in bed with his wife. These days, popes have to at least look like saints, but even that isn’t as fun as it used to be. Pope Francis has phased out some of the more “showy” aspects of papal worship, so the president probably won’t even kiss your ring .
Everyday work seems exhausting. You’re in charge of an entire city-state, so there’s a lot of administrative work, paperwork, and tough decisions to make, like cutting the salaries of everyone who works for you when tourism revenues fall . There are also vicious office politics. We will likely never know all the details – the Church is kept secret – but the scandal surrounding Benedict XVI’s resignation has provided insight into a nest of vipers among rival cliques within it, involving everything from bribery around the annual nativity scene in St. Peter’s Square to the dispersal of funds at the Vatican Bank used to gain influence and power. It’s like high school with robes. So, do you really want this job?