How I Use “Penalties” to Actually Keep My New Year’s Resolutions
At the end of every December, I start thinking hard about what I want the next year to be like for me. You can blame it on all the Capricorn placements in my birth chart if you want (and I do!), or blame it on the cultural obsession with the “new year, new me” approach, but I take my New Year’s resolutions seriously and usually try to come up with realistic and actionable plans to improve yourself and your life. It’s easy to identify what I want to change, and even easy to figure out exactly how I should do it, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to stick to it. Real life gets in the way, no matter what year it is. When it comes to forming habits, sometimes you have to get tough. Here’s how I use penalties to help me succeed in my decisions.
What do I mean by New Year’s resolution “fines”?
When you’re trying to change something, internal rewards don’t always help. Sure, you know you’ll boost your endorphins and strengthen your body if you hit the gym more often, but it takes time and it’s easy to give up if you don’t see immediate results. I always recommend cleaning your house in chunks , little by little, so you don’t get overwhelmed, but again, if you don’t see quick progress, you can quickly lose motivation.
The solution here is to stop looking for internal motivation altogether and start motivating yourself with external stakes. You need to assign punishments to your goals, especially your New Year’s resolutions. The decision cannot be as simple as: “I decide to call my mother more often.” You need an implementation strategy, such as setting a specific time when you will do it, as well as a little extra motivation. Imagine: “I decide to call my mother three times a week, otherwise I will send her a bouquet.” It’s easier to make three phone calls than to spend over $80 on flowers, and your mom will probably appreciate both, so saving money here should motivate you to make the calls.
Ideas for Permit Fines
I use fines all the time in everyday life and have for many years. I was an avid calorie counter back in college, but I noticed that I avoided entering total calories on “cheat days,” which led to me becoming sluggish with data entry over the next few days. I implemented a personal punishment system that included receiving a small treat, such as a cup of pudding, at the end of each day if I entered all my food items honestly. This worked for me because I’m pretty good at being responsible for myself, but it might not be good enough for you. There’s really nothing stopping you from just eating a cup of pudding. Here are some more ideas:
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Tell a few people about your decisions and schedule periodic meetings with them. You don’t want a friend asking how your money-saving resolution is going and having to tell them you forgot to stash it this week. Choose a responsible friend who, ideally, will give you a hard time if you don’t follow through. Three years ago, I assigned one of my friends to harass me about my financial habits and, thanks to her dedication to annoying me as much as possible, paid off a ton of my bills in record time.
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Bet on it. There are apps like Forfeit that require you to put money up front and then prove that you’re sticking to your goals. You can provide relevant materials such as workout proof so that they will not be able to withhold your money at the end of the predetermined schedule. It sounds stressful because it is, but if you’re really trying hard to achieve your goals, it can work.
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Set yourself up for victory or defeat. Let me explain: When I need to clean my apartment but can’t find the motivation, I invite a friend over for dinner a few days before. Then, knowing that someone will enter my house at a certain time that I cannot change, I suddenly become motivated to make sure it is clean. I do the same thing at the gym by planning out my hospital outfit, say, a month in advance, and then working out every day with that outfit in mind. Even if no one knows what I’m up to, I’d feel bad if I canceled dinner or changed my outfit just because I personally failed my mission. I don’t like to be disappointed in myself.
When making decisions, try adding some kind of penalty clause, even if it’s a small one, if you typically have a hard time complying with it. If the negativity associated with punishment doesn’t motivate you, try changing the scenario to suit your needs. Rewards can also be useful. Instead of taking something away from yourself if you fail to change your habits, try giving yourself something if you succeed. Hell, do both. One of my resolutions this year has to do with a big goal I set for myself as part of one of my personal projects. If I don’t take steps towards this goal every week, I’ll be depriving myself of a typical Friday night; but if I take an important step towards achieving this goal, I will double the amount I allow myself to spend that Friday. And yes, I tell my friends to control me.