A Guide to Children’s Culture for Out-of-Touch Adults: the Rise of Christmas Carols
If you’re wondering how young people are celebrating the holiday season this year, let me tell you: They’re singing Christmas carols to each other with lyrics like, “On the first day of Rismas, my gyat gave me a toilet.” ,skibidi.” They’re also decorating their Fortnite avatars with festive Skibidi toilet skins and watching MrBeast’s new game show The Beast Games .
Rise of the Rizzmas Carols
This year, children celebrate the holiday by singing ” Rizmas Carols ” with lines like “Deck the halls with sigma branches.” They’re essentially slang-laden, brain-rotting versions of Christmas carols. Check out “It’s Starting to Look Like a Rismas-Like Gyat” to see what I mean:
For reasons unknown to anyone, this version of “Last Christmas” has one and a half million views on TikTok:
A favorite song to parody if you really want to cram in as many Gen-A references as possible is “12 Days of Rizzmas”, in which your risler can give you nine sigma…
…or 10 skibidi toilets.
Before you start mourning the upcoming holidays, ask yourself how many times as a child you sang, “The bells are ringing, it smells like Batman, Robin has laid an egg.” (If you ask your parents, I bet they’ll say, ” Too much .”) And if you just don’t know what these new slang words mean, I’ll give you my constantly updated guide to Gen Z and Gen A Slang.
The Skibidi toilet is coming to Fortnite
While we’re on the subject of brain rot, let’s talk about the Skibidi Toilet coming to Fortnite . The Skibidi Toilet Kit includes the Skibidi toilet skin, two Plungerman versions, a Skibidi backpack, and Plungerman pistons, all for 2,200 V-Bucks. But act quickly, it’s only available until December 28th.
If none of the above makes any sense to you, let me translate: Fortnite is an extremely popular competitive online game. Skibidi Toilet is an extremely popular (among young people, anyway) web series on YouTube. Skins allow players to “dress up” their in-game avatars, and all cost V-Bucks, which is the online currency in Fortnite . At current exchange rates, 2,200 V-Bucks are worth about $20, so now kids can spend $20 to look like Skibidi toilet characters while playing Fortnite . If you’re looking for a last-minute gift for an 11-year-old, hold your nose and fork out some V-Bucks.
TikTok is nostalgic for Google Maps
For many, the end of the year is a time of bittersweet reflection, and TikTok users are getting into that spirit in interesting ways. The newest trend on social media involves posting videos of virtual time travel: searching for familiar places on Google Maps, then virtually going back in time, looking at earlier photos to note who or what is no longer around. For example, this TikToker misses his grandparents, but somewhere on Google Maps they are alive and working on their front lawn:
People find their chalk drawings in their driveway:
People see themselves waiting for a school bus:
People catch themselves on a first date in the driveway:
Many people find their beloved pets sunbathing in the yard, not even realizing how little time they have left:
Even if no one was captured by Google’s mapping car, one missing car in the driveway is enough to stop people in their tracks:
If you’re interested in seeing how your own home has changed over the years, here’s how:
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Open the Google Maps app or go to the Google Maps page.
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Enter your address
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Click Street View
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Click “Show more dates”
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Pick a year and see if it makes you cry
A man brought flowers to a date and got angry
X user @Thehullboy posted a photo of himself getting ready to go on a date last week, drawing the ire and bile of countless X users. Let’s see if you can guess what he did wrong:
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If you said “nothing”, congratulations, you are not a bitter cretin. Although, according to human-sphere types, incels and other intelligent trash, the dude should not have given the girl flowers. Some example comments:
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This tweet is currently unavailable. It may be downloading or has been deleted.
This tweet is currently unavailable. It may be downloading or has been deleted.
To be fair, many commenters on this dude’s post support his decision to bring a bouquet to his date, noting that it’s a fun date activity and even charming. In response, angry men point out that these comments are coming from women , and what do women know about what they like? In other words, something has gone wrong with many, many young people.
Viral video of the week: the first episode of “Beast Game”
Mr. Beast has 338 million subscribers on his YouTube channel , more than anyone else on Earth, but this month he’s moving into more traditional streaming with his own game show on Amazon Prime Video. Beast Games is a real-life version of the Squid game , where 1,000 ordinary people compete for a $5 million prize in the endurance tests and competitions that MrBeast has made so popular on his YouTube channel. Critics don’t like it , calling it ” $100 million worth of charmless YouTube nonsense ” and ” about what you’d expect from an ever-fussy spectacle merchant like MrBeast.” Kids seem to love it, though, with nearly 100 million people watching the first episode on YouTube in less than a week . By comparison, the last Super Bowl was watched by about 123 million people.