15 Christmas Movies You Shouldn’t Watch With Your Family
The “naughty Christmas movie” is a venerable subgenre dating back at least to 1974’s Black Christmas , a film that shocked audiences with the dual idea that people not only get super excited during the holidays, but also occasionally think about murder. Black Christmas isn’t on our list of Christmas movies to avoid watching as a family, because you should definitely watch Black Christmas as a family: Everyone needs to understand the dangers of sorority killers during the holiday season. Meanwhile, there’s a new comedy starring David Harbor about a literal Santa Claus fighting hostage-taking mercenaries that you definitely won’t want to explain to your Aunt Carol (who, let’s face it, is tiresome).
Here are more movies that are best watched after the kids and/or grandma have gone to bed. This doesn’t mean grandma isn’t cool, it’s just that you might not want to sit around after Christmas dinner and watch Eyes Wide Shut with her.
Eyes Wide Shut (1999)
While I would generally advise against watching Eyes Wide Shut with the whole family at any time of year, Tom Cruise’s erotic journey during the holiday season can actually be an effective way to clear the house of wandering aunts, uncles and other relatives who might have a preference. some football situation of a depressive orgy in masks. You can stream Eyes Wide Shut on Paramount+ or rent it from Prime Video .
Mandarin (2015)
This Christmas Eve in Hollywood, Sin-Dee Rella (Kitana Kiki Rodriguez), a trans sex worker just released from prison, learns that her boyfriend cheated on her while she was away. She enlists a couple of friends on a mission to find and confront her ex-pimp. While it’s absolutely delightful, with some elements of an old school chick-buddy comedy, the language and mature situations mean it’s probably not intended for the little ones ( A Kid Like Jake , though not as good a film as Tangerine “). , works really well if you’re looking for something trans- and enby-friendly that ‘s safe for the whole family to watch). You can stream Tangerine on Netflix, Hulu , Tubi, Pluto TV and Kanopy, or rent it from Prime Video .
Apartment (1960)
This film is less overtly dirty than many of the other films on this list, and could be categorized more as a sex farce or even a romantic comedy than anything particularly raunchy. But still, it’s about an insurance clerk (Jack Lemmon) who rents out his apartment to his bosses for their various extramarital affairs, while simultaneously falling in love with an elevator operator (Shirley MacLaine) who sleeps with his boss. Kids probably won’t understand it anyway, but it’s definitely not useful on a Miracle on 34th Street level . You can stream The Apartment on Tubi, Freevee and Prime Video .
A Bad Moms Christmas (2017)
The already solid core cast of Mila Kunis, Kristen Bell and Kathryn Hahn stepped up with the addition of Susan Sarandon, Christine Baranski and Cheryl Hines in the Bad Moms sequel, taking things to a whole other level. It arrives just over a year after the first film, which gives it a bit of a slapdash feel, but that’s fitting for a raunchy, female-led Christmas comedy. It mostly eschews the salty-sweet balance that made the original a hit and instead aims for cheeky jokes surrounding the holiday fiasco. You can stream A Bad Moms Christmas onNetflix or rent it on Prime Video .
The Night Before (2015)
What else are you going to do on Christmas Eve other than spend the night with your best friends (Seth Rogan, Anthony Mackie and Joseph Gordon-Levitt) at a Nutcracker ball? Yes, that sounds terrible to me too. Luckily, they have a ton of medicine to help them get through the night. If you’re worried that your kids will internalize the message, which is more or less “drugs make things fun and funny,” this is best avoided. However, there’s also a bit of a weird anti-steroid message here, so I guess it depends on what you’re most worried about. You can stream The Night Before on Starz or rent it on Prime Video .
Ref (1994)
Denis Leary crams a lot of adult language into Ref , but that’s not really the reason (or at least not the only reason) why you probably won’t want to watch it with your whole family. Leary plays a conman who takes a couple (Judy Davis and Kevin Spacey) hostage when a job goes wrong. The joke’s on him because they’re at each other’s throats every minute. These are the most bitter and hateful people imaginable, and robber/hostage taker Leary proves to be not only the film’s most likable character, but also a peacemaker, especially when the rest of the family shows up for Christmas Eve dinner. If you want to be horrified by a bunch of terrible in-laws, you probably don’t need to turn on the TV, is what I’m saying. You can rent The Ref on Prime Video .
Office Christmas Party (2016)
While it does end up disappointing with some holiday sentimentality, there’s still plenty of raunchiness to be found in this Christmas comedy with a surprisingly well-chosen cast (Jason Bateman, Jennifer Aniston, Kate McKinnon, Olivia Munn, etc.). However, this general atmosphere of mischief is an argument against sitting down the whole family for a Christmas viewing. On the other hand, it may be helpful to teach your children from an early age that an office party filled with booze, cocaine and sex is something that should never happen in real life for various reasons. Trust me, you don’t want to do cocaine with your co-workers at office events. You can rent Office Christmas Party from Prime Video .
Go (1999)
The story of a Christmas drug deal gone wrong involves a rave, a hit-and-run, a strip club, a Vegas threesome and more than one shooting. Goh sometimes gets overlooked among the crowd of much worse Pulp Fiction imitators. late 1990s, but in terms of unconventional Christmas movies it’s on par with Die Hard . But if you don’t want your kids asking a lot of questions about why a shirtless, drug-dealing (but still hot) Santa is waving a gun and walking up to Katie Holmes, it’s best to leave it until they’re snug in their beds. You can stream Go on Paramount+ or rent it from Prime Video .
Friday After Next (2002)
I’m not entirely sure you should watch Friday After Next (which I certainly wouldn’t say about the off-season original), and certainly not as a family – but as raunchy Christmas comedies may seem, they do have a certain appeal. What’s in its favor is that there’s not a lot of teaching, sharing, or caring involved, which is something I can respect in a bit of cinematic holiday counter-programming. If all you want for Christmas is a bunch of prison rape jokes, this is definitely your movie. You can stream Friday After Next on Tubi .
A Cooper Christmas (2008)
Shot in just 11 days , A Cooper Christmas (also known as Cooper’s Camera ) comes across as slightly unnecessary, which is all the better for it. Starring Jason Jones and Samantha Bee from The Daily Show . Set in 1985, it is presented as a piece of found footage: the whole thing is presented as recovered tape from an old family Christmas, which also happens to be recorded over an old sex tape. it shows up from time to time. A wildly dysfunctional family celebrates the holiday together with a near-constant string of often extremely raunchy jokes that hit the mark more often than they miss. This is serious programming of holiday counters. You can stream A Cooper’s Christmas (2008) on Prime Video and Tubi.
A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas (2011)
Of course, John Cho became one of Hollywood’s most bankable actors, and Kal Penn was a White House staffer and academic lecturer in media studies (while still acting). None of this means we can’t still enjoy their silly sides in this terrific Christmas comedy – the latest in the Harold & Kumar saga and in many ways just as good as the previous films, which are better than you think. It’s the kind of Christmas movie where Santa smokes a bong during his holiday rounds, and the urine substitute for a drug test more than qualifies as a good Christmas gift. Crude jokes and bad humor aside, there’s a pleasant sweetness to it that makes it one of the least obnoxious of these offbeat holiday films. And I suppose if you were directing this for kids, you could talk about how well Harold and Kumar did, despite (or thanks to) all the weed. No matter, I’ll reclassify this as wholesome fun for the whole family. You can stream A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas on Tubi or rent it on Prime Video .
Ice Harvest (2005)
A completely overlooked neo-noir from the late Harold Ramis, Ice Harvest is set on Christmas Eve, a time when only the world’s most interesting (and/or darkest) people are out and about. John Cusack and Billy Bob Thornton play con men who have just robbed a bandit of $2 million. All they want to do is get out of town. This goal is complicated by an ice storm that has closed the roads and forced them to cool while avoiding their pursuers. You can rent The Ice Harvest from Prime Video .
Bad Santa (2003)
The platonic ideal of a gritty Christmas movie, Terry Zwigoff’s Bad Santa stars Billy Bob Thornton as Willie Soke, a salesman Santa who is actually a con man who uses his seasonal gigs to find stores he can rob at night. He represents everything you probably don’t want your child to be around during the holidays (or really any time): he’s foul-mouthed, cynical, and abusive whenever he doesn’t make the slightest hint of child-friendly cover. The film does have a solid Christmas redemption arc between scenes of Santa fucking Rory Gilmore’s mom in the car, but that’s probably not enough to make you want to watch it with the little ones. You can stream Bad Santa on Paramount+ or rent it on Prime Video .
Culver (2004)
A psychological thriller with satirical overtones, Calvère (also known as The Test ) is about singer Marc (Laurent Lucas), who lives in his van and earns his (rather meager) living by offering covers of easy-listening hits to people’s homes. elderly On the way to a Christmas concert during a thunderstorm, he had a breakdown—bad luck. But it gets worse: the man who comes to his aid turns out to be a retired stand-up comedian, which is a terrible warning sign if there ever was one. Poor Mark soon finds himself in an increasingly disturbing rural nightmare filled with amateur porn, animal sex and forced cross-dressing that could completely ruin a holiday. We’re taught that singing for the elderly at Christmas is just about the nicest thing you can do, but Culver warns performers that without a reliable transpo, it’s not worth it. You can stream Calvaire on Shudder or rent it on Prime Video .
Woman’s Problem (1974)
Christmas is the beginning of the chaos that unfolds in this twisted John Waters classic. When she fails to get the cha-cha heels she wants from Santa, juvenile delinquent Dawn Davenport is sent into trouble for the rest of her life, starting with an unforgettably disgusting sexual encounter in a junkyard. It’s one of the most memorable holiday moments in movie history and a stark lesson in the importance of giving your kids what they really want. You can rent “Girl Trouble” on Fandango at Home or buy it on Prime Video .