You Can Make Homemade Instant Mashed Potatoes (Seriously)

Welcome to the Scammer’s Guide to Thanksgiving . While there is plenty of advice out there for people making desserts and artisan breads, The Con Man’s Guide is geared toward the individual who could use a helping hand, even from some unconventional sources. Some might call it “cheating” (as if that’s a bad thing), but there’s nothing wrong with using modern technology and supermarket know-how to create a stunning traditional feast – with far less of the traditional work involved.

Mashed potatoes don’t have a reputation for being dangerously complex. The list of ingredients is quite small: potatoes, milk, salt and butter. Mashing itself is actually quite beneficial, especially if you’re cooking all day (and dealing with your large family). But when it comes to peeling, chopping and boiling five pounds of potatoes, it can be a real challenge of time and space. Well, if you’re looking to cheat your potatoes a little, you’ve come to the right place. In fact, you can make a huge batch of delicious, fluffy mashed potatoes without even touching the stove. You just need to sell your soul a little – to the box.

What are boxed mashed potatoes made from?

The boxed potato cereals are made from real potatoes—not some witchcraft like McCormick Bac’n Pieces (they’re surprisingly vegan)—so they actually taste like potatoes. At the processing plant, the potatoes are peeled, cooked, pureed and the potato paste is spread on a large heated drum where the water evaporates. The dry pieces then break down into flakes, which you take home in a box to rehydrate at home.

Of course, boxed mashed potatoes noticeably lack home comfort. They turn out completely smooth, with a slight boxy taste. To solve these two problems, I needed fresh potato pieces and flavor. Why even use the boxed version then, Ellie? Because the mashed potatoes in the boxes are already prepared, and you can get the potato skins and pieces out almost without difficulty and certainly without cooking.

Photo: Ellie Chanthorn Reinmann.

The air fryer will cook new potatoes in no time.

I made a gorgeous bowl of smooth and chunky mashed potatoes and all I needed to get that homey taste and experience was an added handful of tiny new potatoes. These tiny pieces, about the size of green grapes, cook in the fryer in the time it takes you to stir up instant puree. It’s almost too easy. I would hate it, but at the end of the day, this is the Scammer’s Guide to Thanksgiving.

You don’t need to do anything with these new potatoes other than pick out the damaged ones. I bought a Shoprite branded bag that had red, yellow and purple creamed potatoes inside. I chose purple because today is not the same atmosphere. I put a large cup of about 15 potatoes in the fryer. No butter, no poking with a fork, nothing. I air-fryed them for 10 minutes at 375°F. Check them after eight minutes—a paring knife should easily pierce the center when they’re done. If you don’t have an air fryer, you can of course cook them differently, but this method is the fastest and least messy.

Everything goes straight into the serving bowl.

Meanwhile, prepare packaged mashed potatoes according to package directions. This is usually done using the stovetop or microwave, but I use the kettle method. To do this, I first added salt and shortening to the serving bowl. (In the photo, “I can’t believe it’s not butter.” Keep your judgment to yourself; this stuff is amazing.) Then I poured the freshly boiled water from the electric kettle into the bowl, stirred everything to melt the fat, and added the milk. I poured the potato flakes into a bowl (I used Idaho Brand Potato Flakes) and unceremoniously tossed everything together. Just use the measurements on the box and adjust if you like creamier or thicker potatoes.

Photo: Ellie Chanthorn Reinmann.

Once the potatoes are well-moistened—the flakes will take a few minutes to fluff up—pour the air-fried new potatoes directly into a bowl. Add any seasonings or savory accoutrements you typically enjoy, such as roasted garlic, chopped onion, grated Parmesan, parsley or black pepper. Take a masher with you. (See? This version still gives you therapy.)

The goal is to add flavors and crush all the new potatoes, releasing small chunks of potato and attractive bits of skin into the mixture. A few mashes will be enough. Taste the mashed potatoes and add more seasonings or milk if necessary to achieve the desired flavor and consistency. Your side dish is ready. No need to take up space on the stove or boil for about an hour. This side takes about 15 minutes to cook and you assemble it all right in the serving bowl. Thanksgiving mashed potatoes have never been so easy and satisfying.

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