Arguments for Going to Bed Early on Election Night

If you were old enough to vote in 2016, you probably remember The Needle. Nice little picture from the New York Times. It had to swing back and forth on the scale from Republican to Democrat as the vote counts came in. Many of us have stayed up late at night watching that arrow, as if through undivided attention and sheer willpower we could force it to move in a different direction.

Looking back, I think we all regret the time we spent agonizing over this.

I’ve already taught you how to create a plan for how you’re going to deal with your election night anxiety. Today I would like to offer a more specific option that I will choose for myself: do not focus on income as it comes in. Take care of yourself in the best sense of this phrase. Accept that once your vote is cast (and any volunteer work done on Election Day), your continued focus on the election will not affect the outcome. And then go to bed early.

Results likely won’t be known on election night anyway.

I understand the temptation to look at the results and see what the next four years hold. But remember that for most of this country’s history, there were no instant election results. We had to wait for the ballots to be counted and the results to be announced using the usual methods. At best, you might wake up the next morning and read it in the newspaper.

These days, data can travel across the Internet as fast as electrons, but that doesn’t mean all the votes will be counted much faster. In some states, including my home state (and swing state) Pennsylvania, the law doesn’t even allow mail-in ballots to begin counting until Election Day. Workers in these states will act as quickly as they can, but they won’t be done by the time the polls close. We had to wait an agonizing four days to find out who won the 2020 election; In 2000, due to legal problems and hanging children (iykyk), the wait was a grueling month.

Have a good time instead

So make your plans now. Disable. The weather will probably be nice (too nice; thanks climate change!), so maybe you should go camping with the family. Literally touch the grass. Have a special dinner. Play a board game or watch a movie with the whole family. And then go to bed. Whatever election night brings, you may or may not enjoy knowing what’s to come in the morning.

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