How to Cry More (and Why You Should Do It)
We have many reasons to suppress the urge to cry, from knocking down a bully in elementary school to trying to look professional at an important meeting. You may have preconceived notions that crying can make you look weak or that it is undesirable to let it out in stressful situations. However, crying can be beneficial if you do it in a safe, emotionally supportive environment. Not only does this let others know that you need their help, but it also releases endorphins and relieves stress so you can start to feel better.
Why do we even cry?
Why we cry due to strong emotions or physical pain is an ongoing area of study. Everyone agrees that crying is a social signal designed to elicit comfort and support from others. But it’s very difficult to study from an evolutionary perspective, the researchers say, because humans are the only animals that cry. Other animals whine and make sounds, but humans are the only animals that perform this coordinated action that produces tears, vocalizations, facial contractions, falling postures, and shaking, which we call crying.
Generally speaking, humans produce three types of tears :
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Basal : produced continuously for overall eye health.
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Irritant : to flush out harmful substances from the eyes.
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Emotional : caused by strong emotions and pain.
Reasons why crying is good for you
As I mentioned, the main scientific theory about the value of crying is that it evokes empathy and compassion in others, thereby promoting human bonding. This is a way for you (or your baby, or anyone else) to signal that you need help and make it more likely that people who see and hear you cry will help you.
In addition to the social benefits, it is widely believed that crying also has physiological benefits. Some research suggests that crying may be a form of self-soothing. This may help relieve pain by releasing opioids and oxytocin. In 2020, a small study found that crying therapy improved emotions and physiology in breast cancer survivors. Grief therapist Gina Moffa, author of Moving On Doesn’t Mean Letting Go: A Modern Guide to Coping with Loss , says not only can crying inspire empathy in others, it can also help us release stress and pent-up emotions.
“Crying can be therapeutic, releasing endorphins and helping to create a feeling of calm,” she says. “Emotional tears can help us remove toxins from the body, lubricate the eyes, or lower blood pressure and reduce suffering. This can have social benefits by eliciting empathy or concern from those around us, which can help us feel safer and more connected.”
While there’s no evidence that you need to cry on a specific schedule , she says, it’s a good idea to let the tears flow in a safe way and in a safe place.
How to turn on the water supply
So we’ve established that crying is important, but how do you do it? If you are a person who has worked hard to hold back tears in the past, it may take some practice to allow them to flow freely.
“For some people who have been taught that emotions are unsafe, or who have not been taught to express emotions, crying may seem elusive,” Moffa says. “Some of the ways I recommend allowing emotions to come out through tears is to make a playlist of touching and personal songs, journal and write freely about feelings, watch a meaningful or sad movie, [try] somatic release or a more positive note, create real gratitude practice .”
You may have seen the crying-inducing somatic release technique trending on TikToks. It’s worth a try, Moffa says, but be sure to do it in an environment where you can get emotional support.
“I believe in releasing our emotions safely, whether through the tears we naturally experience or through the tears we create. This can be a healthy somatic release exercise that we’ve seen all over social media. I want to caution you that you are in a safe place and have support if you need it,” she said.
Seven tricks to help you make yourself cry
If you need additional resources to help open the floodgates, try one (or more) of the methods below.
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Make a sad playlist of songs that attract you every time (you know them).
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Just ask TikTok or YouTube to find videos that will make you cry. See what brings you to tears: inspiring, sentimental, sad or tragic.
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Try somatic self-care .
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Listen to the sad podcast .
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Watch a guaranteed heartbreaking film .
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Keep a journal about your personal sadness and grief.
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Try a yoga pose to get rid of sadness . (It is often said that a dove causes crying.)