How to Move Out After a Breakup, According to Movers
Moving out of the home you shared with your partner can bring up a lot of emotions . It can be inspiring, heartbreaking, frustrating, exciting, or maybe a mixture of all these and more. There is an unknown future ahead of you, which is both cool and scary, but also at the moment you need to pack up all your things and take them out of there. It can be very strange when your ex is right there . This may be a new experience for you, but professional movers see it all the time.
Let your movers know in advance that you will be leaving the common area.
When you book movers, let them know the situation quickly, especially if some things (yours) will go and some (your ex’s) will stay. Ashley Graber, co-owner of Cool Hand Movers , says some customers communicate the situation ahead of time, “so teams understand that separating items upon pickup can be a stressful situation.”
Anthony Collazo, CEO of Rabbit Moving and Storage , says it’s “not necessary” to let your team know what’s going on before they arrive, but “most clients do.” In this case, Rabbit employees add information to the client’s file so that any responding movers can be “especially sensitive.”
Zach Solomon, founder and CEO of Solidarity Movers , says clients alert his team to a variety of situations, from breakups to pests to nasty landlords, but “if it’s something more casual, it’s not necessary. It may be a little more flammable, so it’s always a good idea to let the movers know that.” He notes that movers are always in a delicate situation because they are strangers who show up at people’s homes during times of major change, so it is normal to over-report circumstances during these times.
Try to discuss this with your ex before you move.
The period between separation and departure is a strange, terrible uncertainty. I was there and all my friends were there. You try to spend as much time outside the house as possible while still being there often enough to pack everything in, but unless you have a friend’s couch to crash on, you’re more likely to find yourself there at night. . Whether you argue, sit in absolute silence, drag out grievances in the relationship, or make weird last-minute games to get each other back, this is not a pleasant time for your recent ex. However, you should try to take the time to discuss with them what it will look like before the movers (or helpful friends) arrive and your items start disappearing from the premises.
“Communication is important, even if you’re breaking up,” Collazo says. “Make sure your partner understands that you are leaving, because random appearances by movers make for a very awkward situation.”
He also adds that you need to be sure that you are serious before you commit to it. Look, I trust that you make the decision that’s right for you, but for what it’s worth, Collazo movers have seen plenty of situations where someone booked a move only to cancel at the last minute due to makeup . It goes without saying, but don’t use the breakup as a threat, let alone drag innocent workers into it and deceive them.
When talking to your ex, whether you think the relationship can be saved or not, keep an open mind but be very firm about what will happen. Explain what day the move will take place and what items you will take. Think in advance about how you will distribute common items. Don’t let it wait until moving day, which is already stressful enough. Solomon suggests putting your stuff in one room, your ex’s stuff in another, and letting the movers know which room the “stay” items are in and which the “go” room is. If you’re short on time or this isn’t possible in your space, he has a great tip: Use non-marking masking tape to mark everything that will be placed on the truck. This will allow your movers to quickly determine which items belong to you and which don’t, and where everything should go.
Prioritize your safety
The circumstances of a breakup are always unique. You may feel friendly and friendly towards your ex, or you may experience more negative emotions, ranging from resentment to fear. In any case, be aware of security concerns.
“Sometimes an ex will try to find out where another ex is moving,” Collazo says. He adds that his team is trained to never share a client’s information with anyone who isn’t them, but you should keep in mind that if your ex is around when you move, they may try to find a way to find out where. where are you going? Solomon says his team is prepared for this kind of thing and, if you like, won’t even mention your new address until you’re on the road, plus won’t talk about the move to anyone, from your ex to people. who pass by with questions on the street.
Collazo even says that his team will completely ignore your ex if you ask them to, but you need to ask your movers (or friends) if they will honor your wishes in that case. “In a sticky situation, it’s a good idea to go straight to a mover rather than asking friends to help you move, but you should still consider having a friend or two around for emotional support,” says Solomon. (Note, however, that a friend may view this final goodbye as a big chance to finally let your ex have it, so talk to him about your preferences ahead of time and, if applicable, ask him not to cause drama.)
Graber advises seriously considering whether both ex-partners should be present on moving day. She and her team work to prioritize clients’ privacy and not interfere or interfere too much, she said, but in some cases the remaining partner may have concerns about the property or certain items. In this case, they may need to communicate.
Ultimately, if your ex doesn’t have concerns about your ex’s instability or intentions, and if you feel like he can remain civil, it might be best to keep them around, even if it’s very awkward. Separating items, maintaining ownership elements, and communicating needs to carriers together are all important. Just let the carrier know in advance what is involved. Solomon adds that you should also consider the implications of moving teams of different sizes. Small teams of two or so people are more personable and less of a burden on your space, but take longer to move items than large teams of four or five people, which bring a lot of energy to an already dangerous situation but also act quickly . If you’re doing this while your ex is away, consider a larger team. If you do this while they are around, a small team can help keep the atmosphere more relaxed.
Things to keep in mind
It will be a little awkward, and even if the breakup is great, don’t be surprised if you feel a little sad. It’s the end of an era. Research your moving company and try to find one that is local, outgoing, and personable.
Also keep in mind that although you may feel like you are alone, you are not. Solomon says he estimates that 10 to 15 percent of the moves his company helps with are rips. Collazo estimates that half of his moves are pairs that either move together or move apart. This is something your professionals haven’t seen before, and their job is to help you move quickly and efficiently to the next chapter of your life. Be social, be as organized as possible, and just get through one awkward day to get to the next chapter.