The Right Way to Use Tinder for a Hometown Vacation
As 2023 comes to an end, the holidays are approaching and many people will be returning to their hometowns to celebrate. Going home for the holidays is a fun experience. You’re heading somewhere you know well, but now that you’re not there, everything is different. Are your old friends still the same? Did your favorite eatery survive the pandemic and all the economic oddities that came with it? What are your old connections in the city? Are there new people you haven’t met before?
First: Just Use Tinder
If you’re looking for a hookup, Tinder is your best bet, period. It’s fast, it’s easy, most people have it, and you don’t have to do much to set up a profile. “It’s going to be incredibly depressing, really funny, or just a good time,” says Don G., a 32-year-old Brooklyn resident returning to Pennsylvania for Christmas and planning to use Tinder as soon as he gets back to the city. He expects to scroll through at least one “high school buff” and see what they do. If you’re lucky, it will be him.
“Hinge and Bumble always felt a little commitment-oriented,” he says. “If that’s your vibe, then by all means, say no, but I think Tinder is the standard for hometown swipes. He has a tough reputation and brings a minimum of dirty pretense to any crowd.” Hinge and Bumble do have a reputation for being more commitment-oriented, although Carmela, a 20-year-old New Yorker who often travels home to Michigan, adds that you’re less likely to meet someone who’s already married on Hinge than on Hinge. others, at least in her experience. Unless you’re trying to cause family drama, keep this in mind. All the major apps offer the option to explicitly state in your profile what you’re looking for, so be sure to state that you want a fast connection and nothing more.
A good rule of thumb is to stay away from dedicated apps as they are unlikely to yield much results. Some, like Field, are really concentrated around urban centers, so unless you’re heading back to a larger city, you’ll probably be out of luck.
Second: Be Strategic But Kind
As mentioned, it is important to say up front what exactly you are looking for. Don advises you to “be as transparent as possible about your intentions.” This is a good guide to using dating apps in general, so as always, be clear and honest about your intentions. Communication is key to ensuring both parties are on the same page and feel comfortable during the meeting.
Also be mindful of how you set your preferences. As Don noted, you’ll likely run into people you used to know. Whether this bothers you (and the possibility of them gossiping around town about seeing you there) depends on your own preferences, but you should accept it as reality before you enter. when this happens. If you really don’t want to communicate with anyone you know, no problem. Tinder now has the option to hide your profile from certain people in your phone contacts. If you don’t have their number, just use the old-fashioned way of swiping left on them. If you don’t mind spending one night with your former prom king or that shy girl who has somehow always been your grocery store cashier, prepare what you’ll say when you meet. Setting your preferences to avoid this may work, but it will bring a new set of problems. Carmela says she sets the age range to 34 and older when visiting homes, but ends up meeting former teachers and colleagues instead of old classmates. No matter what you do, something awkward is likely to happen. Just choose your awkwardness.
However, don’t let this hold you back. Even in the smallest towns, you can find someone you don’t know and enjoy some festive conversation. Be clear about your intentions and just have fun. As Don says, “Don’t take it too seriously…unless you want to. Even then, just remember that in three days you will be back to your normal life and they will be back too.