Age-Specific Guide to Help Children Cope With Homework

Have you ever wondered whether homework measures a child’s ability to complete tasks or a parent’s ability? On the one hand, a parent may never mention homework and assume that it is done independently; on the other hand are the parents who make sure that every worksheet is absolutely perfect.

Being too hands-off with homework can deprive a child of the support he needs to develop executive skills, but being too involved can stifle his independence. So how much parental involvement in homework is really appropriate throughout a child’s education?

Basic Tips for Doing Homework

According to Scholastic , you should follow these rules of thumb to support your child during homework (without overdoing it):

• Stay close and ready to answer questions without getting distracted directly by doing your homework.
• Avoid the urge to correct mistakes unless your child asks for help.
• Instead of nagging, establish a routine for completing homework, setting aside a time and place for it.
• Teach time management of a larger project by helping them break it down into parts.

Child psychologistDr. Emily W. King recently wrote in her newsletter about rethinking homework . King explains at what age children can typically complete homework independently, but she writes that each child’s ability to concentrate at the end of the day and use executive functioning skills to complete tasks is very individual. I spoke with her to get more information about how much parental involvement in homework is necessary depending on the age and level of the child.

Kindergarten to second grade

Whether children need homework at such an early age remains a hotly debated topic. At this age, babies are still developing fine motor skills, as well as the ability to sit still and pay attention.

“If a child is given homework before their brain and body can sit up and concentrate on their own, then we rely on the parent or other caregivers to sit with the child and help them concentrate,” King said. “ Think about when your child can sit and focus on non-academic tasks, such as dinner, art, or music lessons. This will help you separate executive functioning skills from academic understanding.”

Young children need time for unstructured and structured play such as music, art and sports. They need time outdoors, free time and quiet time, King said. For kids who aren’t ready to work independently, nightly reading with another family member is enough “homework,” she said.

Third to fifth grades

Many children will be able to do homework independently in grades 3-5. Even so, their ability to concentrate and get things done may vary from day to day.

“Most children are ready to work independently between third and fifth grade, but perhaps not yet during after-school hours when they are tired and want to rest or play. We need to start introducing children to organization and structure on their own at the end of elementary school to prepare them for greater independence in middle school,” King said.

Neurodivergent children may need additional parental support for several years before they begin to work independently.

“Neurodivergent children, many of whom have problems with executive functioning, are not ready to work independently in elementary school. Children without executive function deficits (such as the ability to remain seated and complete a task independently) may be able to do this sometime between third and fifth grade, but it is very possible that they will be able to work independently in school but be too tired to do so later. this afternoon,” King said. “We need to monitor the child’s skills and give him the opportunity to work independently when he is ready. Of course, if a child wants to work after school out of interest, go for it.”

For students who are not ready to work independently in high school, it is best to reduce the amount of homework they are required to complete so that they can practice independence and feel successful.

high school

In sixth grade and beyond, children really develop executive functioning skills such as planning, organizing, paying attention, taking initiative, shifting focus, and executing. They will still need your support to keep track of assignments, manage their time, and complete homework.

“Middle school students need significant organizational support and systems in place to help them keep track of assignments, due dates and materials,” King said.

high school

At this point, congratulations: you’ll probably be able to do your homework in peace. Remain open and available if your teen needs help with a problem, but implementing plans should be up to them now.

“In high school, parents try to quit work and start backing off as kids take the lead on homework. Parents of high school students are “homework consultants,” King said. “We’re here to help solve problems, discuss what to say to a teacher in an email, but we don’t write emails or talk to teachers for the sake of our kids.”

What to do if homework isn’t helping them (or you)

There are a number of reasons why a child may not be able to perform at homework at the same level as their peers, including academic anxiety and learning difficulties.

If your child experiences emotional distress while doing homework, it may be a sign that they have run out of gas from the structure, socialization, and stimulation they already went through at school that day. One way to support children is to teach them how to maintain a healthy balance between work and play.

“When we ask students to continue working after school when their tank is empty, we are likely damaging their love of learning and filling them with fear for tomorrow,” King wrote in her newsletter.

King said that in her experience as a child psychologist, the amount of homework support a child needs is determined by their individual abilities and skills, not their age or grade level.

“All of these steps are different for neurodivergent children, and we follow these guidelines not by age or grade, but rather by their skill level to become more independent,” she said. “To complete homework independently, a child must be able to follow directions in class, bring materials home, remember to take materials home, remember to start a task, understand the task, stay still, and pay attention. long enough to complete the assignment, be able to complete the assignment, return the work to your backpack, and return the work to the teacher. If any of these skills are weak or the child cannot complete them independently, the homework system will fail. You can understand why young and neurodivergent students would have a hard time coping with this process.”

If you and your child are having trouble completing homework, talk to their teacher about what may be contributing to the problem and how to change their expectations.

“Be clear about your child’s skill level at this time of day,” King said. “Can they work independently at school but not at home? Can’t they work independently at any time of the day? Do they encounter this concept in school as well? When are they successful?