When to Snitch on a Colleague (and When Not To)

Deciding whether or not to yell at a colleague is not easy. At best, this can protect you, others, or the company from employee misconduct. You could look like a hero if the circumstances were favorable. But more often than not, it will likely result in small changes, possibly damaging your professional reputation and making you look immature.

To be clear, snitching, squealing, gossiping and “telling” usually means that you report the actions or behavior of others to the authorities without their knowledge or consent. This means that at work you witness or encounter a colleague doing something that you find problematic and tell your boss or HR representative about it. Your goal is for them to fix the problem with your colleague and then make them stop, maybe even punish them.

If you are in this situation and are thinking about reporting a colleague’s behavior without their knowledge, it would be wise to consider the following first.

Direct conversation with a colleague

The reality is that there are far fewer reasons to denounce a colleague than there are reasons not to. This is because it is best to deal with problems directly. For example, if you witness your colleague falsifying his timesheet by reporting hours you know he didn’t work, contact them first, not Human Resources. Maybe there’s context or information you don’t have, or maybe it was a mistake. Everyone deserves an attempt to explain or correct their behavior.

Take, for example, a friend of mine who had a medical parking space in the best location in a company parking lot usually reserved for executives. Her colleague noticed where she parked and reported her. Eventually it dawned on my friend that her colleague had done it and it put their relationship in jeopardy. Even though my friend reached out to a colleague and they apologized, their relationship was not the same in the future.

This situation could have been prevented if my friend’s colleague had simply asked her about her excellent parking space. This is what others in the office have done. But instead, this colleague suggested that my friend was doing something wrong.

Give people the benefit of the doubt and speak directly before reporting. This does not change the fact that you report a problem, but it makes your actions transparent. After all, this is what you stand for by exposing someone else’s behavior.

How to understand rule violations

There are many behaviors at work that simply shouldn’t be reported. People can be annoying, obnoxious, sarcastic, and even rude. Of course, this kind of behavior is not very good, and I’m not calling for it to be welcomed, but it falls within the realm of generally accepted bad behavior that often doesn’t break politics. If you’ve ever encountered or know someone who’s been reported for this behavior and your boss or HR doesn’t seem to do anything about it, that might be why. The behavior may not be serious enough to require action. Ultimately, it often comes down to personality conflicts and policy violations.

Also, there’s a big difference between being a jerk and being a bully in the workplace. The same goes for a “hostile work environment”. These terms are used without a full understanding of what they mean and the criteria that are (usually) set for them. Most organizations have clear definitions. It is useful to know how the company defines them, and the processes that are deployed (and not deployed) when they are reported.

Document your experience

However, there are indeed situations in which you can “knock”. This is when the perpetrator is in power and you may fear retribution, or this person does something so egregious that it is not a matter of correction. In addition, there is a clear violation of the policy in the game. Again, the best first step is to let the person know what is bothering you. Everyone deserves a chance to defend their actions.

But if that’s not possible, document your experience. Write down the dates, times, what you observed, the exact words that were spoken, and others who witnessed it. Also note how often the behavior occurs or the extent of the problem. A one-time oversight or a rude reaction is not the same as watching a colleague constantly lie to a client.

Share information with your boss

Now is the time to share information and documentation with your boss, preferably before contacting HR, legal or other authority. Managers deserve to be looped, and there may be other circumstances, such as the boss knowing about bad behavior, and your documentation will benefit their cause. Bosses who are not informed about what is going on in the team are at a disadvantage in fixing and improving the environment. They can also keep you from making mistakes if you transcend them. “Telling” your colleague can still be a bad idea, and your boss can help you maintain your relationship and trust.

In most cases, you should not denounce a colleague. This is perceived as a small thing and can make you appear conflict-avoidant. On the rare occasions when you could, make sure your facts are clear and cooperate with your boss. In this way, you have contributed to the preservation of authority and reputation, as well as standing up for what you think is right.