What to Do If Your Employer Is Harassing You

It’s not your imagination: finding a job is harder than ever. Not necessarily because of lack of work, but because the interview process has become, scientists say, terrible . It starts by requiring you to upload your resume and then reproduce all that information in an awkward online form; and guides you through various tortures such as endless rounds of exhausting interviews, outright lies from potential employers, and demands to complete complex projects without compensation.

Worst of all, recruiters and hiring managers after an interview (or even a series of interviews) have become alarmingly common . That’s bad enough for your mental health, but a more insidious trend is starting to creep into play: the breadcrumbs , where a hiring manager or recruiter associates you with vaguely positive reviews for weeks or even months, and then all of a sudden tells you that a job is open. busy. . These experiences are disorienting and invariably negative , and you’ve most likely had an experience with a recruiter or employer that fits this description:

Dealing with ghosts and breadcrumbs in your job search can be difficult because it feels personal and your inner reaction is emotional. To survive, you will have to go against your instincts.

Be honest with yourself

First of all, don’t gaslight yourself. The moment you suspect you’ve been lied to or become a ghost, you probably did. Stop making excuses to the recruiter or hiring manager who didn’t bother to reply to your last two emails or keeps promising a third interview but can’t get everyone’s calendar in order. You really want to believe all the nice things a recruiter or hiring manager has said about your prospects, and the sunk cost fallacy comes into play once you put hours of your life into doing this job.

Second, admit to yourself that it’s upsetting. Anyone who tells you that you shouldn’t take your job search personally is lying to you: our work is our life in many ways. It is how we pay our bills and it is also an integral part of our identity. To pretend that you are not bothered by such mistreatment is simply to suppress your emotions, and this is unhealthy. At the same time, admit to yourself that you are powerless in this scenario. Recognition of powerlessness does not mean weakness – it is an acknowledgment of the reality that gives you the clarity to make constructive decisions.

due diligence

Then remind yourself that employers and recruiters need you as much as you need them, and do your due diligence. If you suspect you have been scammed by a recruiter or employer, contact them and ask them directly if the hiring process is still ongoing and if you are still running. If you think you are being hindered, contact your person in charge of the vacancy and ask for details – the dates of future interviews, comments from hiring managers about past interactions and next steps.

Lack of response will confirm their ghost status, while a vague, effortless response will confirm that you are being deceived. On the other hand, it gives the recruiter or hiring manager an opportunity to step in and explain if something is going on in the background – personal problems or chaos in the organization. Either way, at least you will have some clarity.

Be decisive

Finally, move on but stay stylish. Once your due diligence convinces you that you are being scammed or scammed, just walk away. Angry emails won’t help you – the recruiter who’s spent weeks of your life stalking you may very well be contacting you about a new position months later, as if nothing had happened. You cannot control other people’s behavior, but you can gain a sense of control through your own actions. Making a firm decision to stop worrying about this job, no matter how heartbreakingly close it may seem to you, will make you feel like you are in control, because it reverses the script: instead of being miserable and passive, you make a decision and take action.

Ghosts and breadcrumbs may be the new reality of job hunting, but that doesn’t make the practice acceptable. Coping with experience means stepping outside your comfort zone, but if you do, you’ll have a much healthier job search.