Just Go Buy Weird Padded Cycling Shorts

I’m not a real cyclist, I tell myself as I buy a cheap, basic exercise bike. I’m not exactly a spinner, I tell myself as I replace this bike a year later (it’s worn out from constant use). I’m not dressed like a stupid cyclist, I say, pulling on my cycling shoes . And I get on the bike and continue to ride for an hour in ordinary shorts without lining. Because I’m dumb.

Look, sometimes I’m at the forefront of smart and important life hacks like rinsing your gym gear in the shower or bringing back your gym band . And sometimes it takes me forever to start following the advice that every cyclist instills in beginners. And this: Just buy already soft shorts.

Why do cyclists wear padded shorts?

The filling isn’t really the point, but it’s a nice bonus. Bicycle suede (pronounced “shammy”) is a cushion that adheres to the skin to prevent chafing. It was originally a thin skin made from sheep or deerskin that had to be rubbed into a cream to soften. Eventually, cycling clothing companies figured out how to make a synthetic version that wicks away moisture and provides extra padding.

When you wear suede cycling shorts, you will have a layer of moisture-wicking, friction-free material between the lower areas and the buttock. You can change position in the saddle while riding and the padding will stay in place because it is attached to you and not to the saddle. Soft saddles tend to exacerbate pressure points because your sitting bones sink into the padding; suede shorts usually don’t have this problem.

I bought my first pair of cycling shorts on a whim, like, “Let’s see how good they really are.” I’ve never been a person who had a big problem with saddle soreness, but I have to admit that long rides are much more comfortable in suede than when I was wearing unlined leggings or cycling shorts.

How to buy your first pair of cycling shorts

When you buy cycling shorts, they will be sold as “men’s” or “women’s” models. Women tend to have wider padding at the back, while men tend to have longer padding with a groove down the center to avoid pressure on the perineum (which can cause numbness).

The next thing to pay attention to is which shorts the suede is sewn on. You can find regular spandex cycling shorts; sheer or mesh “liners” because they have to be worn under regular shorts; and “bibs” which have common style straps to hold them while riding. Serious road cyclists usually wear bibs. Mountain bikers often prefer liners. If you don’t know what to get, a regular short bike model is a good all-around choice.

Bikes to watch out for:

• Basic shorts: women (NOOYME), men (BALEAF)
• Inexpensive liners: female (Terry Mixie), male (Przewalski)
• Good bibs if you like: womens , mens (both Pearl Izumi Pro bibs)

How to wear cycling suede

First of all: you don’t wear them with underwear. Even if you don’t usually go to commandos in your tracksuit, it’s a must here. Avoiding seams and wedges in your underwear is half the reason you wear cycling shorts.

The second point follows from the first: wash it every time you put it on. A thorough rinse in the shower is a good enough way to keep your suede fresh if you don’t have time to fully wash your laundry before your next trip. (Bicycle shorts tend to dry quickly.) Cyclists recommend removing suede immediately after a ride, rather than sitting in it longer than necessary. Take a change of shorts with you if you’re not going home right now.

If you still have irritation when you wear suede shorts, that’s what suede cream is for. It’s no longer for softening the skin; it’s more of a lubricant and ointment, sort of like a combination of BodyGlide and diaper cream.

And speaking of diapers: yes, you will feel like you are wearing them. If you’ve ever had the pleasure of wearing a giant panty liner, it looks a lot like this. But the awkwardness ends as soon as you get on the bike; then you just feel comfortable .