How to Talk to Kids About the Messed up State of US Politics
The 2024 presidential election is just over a year away, and if you think everything is terrible and crazy right now, just wait a few months. We are a more ideologically divided nation than ever before , and some of this is intentional. Fear and loathing are the keys to winning today’s elections, so expect strategists and politicians to find exciting new ways to inject rhetorical poison right into the cultural mainstream.
If you choose to bring children into this world, it is your responsibility to help them understand the context and understand the discouraging political moment in which we are trapped. Critical thinking and bullshit detection are no longer luxuries; these are life skills, and you should help your children develop them, if only to make the future electorate less crazy. Below are a few tips that can help your child understand what’s going on and not go crazy about it.
Be open to conversation
Many find it easier to talk about sex with children than politics. Children may pick up on this reluctance and may not talk about their fears and concerns about current events, so you should make a conscious effort to bring this up. Take some quiet time and ask open-ended questions, such as “Who do you think should be president?” Then let them answer. Try not to steer the conversation towards your beliefs and avoid arguing. It really doesn’t matter what an 8-year-old child thinks about politics – the main thing is that he thinks better and understands the world.
Keep things age-appropriate
Children at different ages understand the world differently. Younger children see the world in a simplified way, absolutely. They believe in rules, expectations and are innocent enough to ask for justice instead of mercy. So you can explain the election by saying something like, “The person with the most votes wins, and rightly so” is a reasonable explanation for a six year old.
Older children can (sometimes) pick up on nuances and contradictions in human effort. They may understand that compromise is necessary in public policy and that no outcome will be perfect. So you can explain the election by saying, “The person with the most electoral votes wins, and it’s not fair, but what are you going to do?” A reasonable explanation for a sixteen year old.
Be positive and hopeful
You may be worried about politics, but scaring the kids won’t get you anywhere, so try to be comforting and positive even if you don’t feel it. I’m not suggesting you lie, but both parenting and politics require the discipline of messages. The goal is to raise a child who feels comfortable in this world, and filling him with his fears does not achieve this. So massage the truth a little. If your child says, “I’m worried Trump will get re-elected,” don’t say, “Right? We all die!” Instead, say, “I’m a little worried too, but that’s only four years.”
Take a look into the distance
When trying to contextualize current events for your child, it’s easy to fall into apocalyptic thinking – these are strange and ugly times, after all – but remember that there were stranger and uglier times. Like the Civil War. Or Reconstruction. Or the period after Reconstruction. Or the Great Depression. Or World War II, and so on and so forth. Our nation has been regularly on the verge of collapse, but never completely collapsed. And if the Jenga tower of American democracy is really about to fall to the floor, your 9-year-old won’t be able to do anything about it, so try to connect current events to the historical events they learn about in history class. There is something reassuring about the persistence of chaos in public life.
Separate signal from noise
It’s easy to get stuck in the daily outrage of political reporting, but almost all of the culture war rhetoric we encounter is less meaningful than laws passed at the national and local levels. So direct your conversations with your kids towards public policy, not politics. Discuss in general terms: Why we have the laws we have. Who made them. Who provides them. Explain what voting is and how government is organized and works. (You may need to do some research for this.)
Don’t demonize people you don’t agree with
It’s good if your kids know how you feel about politics (according to age, of course), but try to avoid demonizing people who disagree with you, especially if they’re related. How two decent people can have opposing views on politics can be confusing to kids (and adults), but don’t explain it with “They’re just dumb.” (Even if they’re stupid.) Instead, try something like “We don’t agree on everything.” Your son-in-law, who is flying the Trump 2024 flag, will still be at Thanksgiving, so try to simulate polite communication despite ideological differences.
Teach your kids to be critical of media
If political ads appear on YouTube or TV, don’t turn them off right away. Use it as a media literacy lesson and talk about the messages you receive. Try to get them to think critically about what is behind it. Discuss who did it and why. Discuss the tactics used – is it an attempt to intimidate people? Tell them? Persuade them? Are the claims he makes true? The idea is to actively question propaganda, regardless of its source, and create a person who will not let the media overshadow him.
Let your children see that you are in politics
If you want your child to grow up to be a good citizen, you must model the behavior of a good citizen. So engage in politics meaningfully and positively. If you really hate the guy running for mayor, call the opposition bank instead of complaining. Put up a sign on the lawn. Have regular family political discussions. Discuss how your own value system fits in with your political views. Discuss how you came to your views and where your values come from.