When You Ask an AI to Write an Obituary
Writing an obituary for a loved one can be a difficult, emotionally draining task, and is usually placed on us when we are at our lowest point in life and least ready to handle the burden. So you’ll be forgiven for acting like a lazy college student and turning to AI for help, right? No. No, you wouldn’t. If the ghosts are real ( they probably aren’t ), using the AI to write an obituary will definitely get you haunted.
Because while it might seem like a good idea to use artificial intelligence to get rid of that one thing, it’s actually a huge cop-out. Despite this fact, funeral home websites across the country now offer AI-assisted obituary writing services, but you really shouldn’t be using them. Not only is AI prone to getting things wrong or just making things up , a robot-written obituary is a cold and sloppy legacy to leave as the last record in a person’s life – your loved one deserves more (I guess).
The actual details of the obituaries written by the AI are most likely incorrect.
I’ve been playing with the Tribute AI obituary tool , which the company promises will “create a meaningful obituary in seconds,” for hours, and have come to the conclusion that it doesn’t.
The user experience is strange. Leaving aside the surreal request to describe your loved one in three words – choosing from a pre-filled list of adjectives such as “wise”, “generous” and “courageous” – and being able to set the desired tone (traditional, playful, religious, inspiring) and ” level of creativity” (using the slider), the program just comes up with things without any problems. I entered clues for an imaginary deceased named “Tony”, an adventurous bus driver. In the obituary, the AI described Tony as a hiker and climber, I didn’t provide any details. It might make sense from an AI perspective – many adventurers travel the world – but you don’t want an obituary filled with lies. Positive exaggerations are expected, but outright lies are unacceptable.
Emotional details will definitely be wrong
Describing the best sides of a person in an obituary, omitting dirty laundry, is standard practice, but since they are written by people, you can usually read between the lines to guess what the deceased really was – a “family man” whose obituary is a few meager biographical facts is probably not the best father, whereas a very loved one is likely to have an obituary full of personal observations and expressions of grief (even if it’s a cliché). AI blurs that distinction. He does not know the dead (or anyone), so he will spit out flowery prose all day long “we will all miss them so much”, but the impression of Hitler will remain the same as that of the saint.
AI reduces everyone to the same level – it creates people who do not deserve it, belittles those who deserve it, and reduces the complexities of human life to a single template. It’s inhuman.
To illustrate this, I have described a terrible (fictitious) person in the funeral home’s AI application. I didn’t give “John Smith” any redeeming qualities or traits, so everything positive below is an AI invention. Here is some of what came out:
John’s time in high school was a period of self discovery and growth. Voted “most hated,” John embraced the title with a mixture of humor and toughness, turning it into a catalyst for introspection. Under the guidance of mentors and friends, he eventually turned his energetic demeanor into a single-minded pursuit of self-improvement.
After high school, John began his career as a telemarketer. It was in this position that he honed his distinctive communication style, establishing strong bonds with clients, colleagues and friends. John’s work history also includes his involvement in associations, which were expressions of his passion for community participation. As the Great Kleegle of the Ku Klux Klan, a role bestowed on him, he further explored his passion for participating in society and connecting with others.
John was a man who never shied away from expressing his dissatisfaction with the world, which manifested itself in his tendency to complain about “literally everything”. His ability to find fault with the most mundane aspects of life was an integral part of his personality. His friends and family often recalled these enthusiastic tales of displeasure with great fondness and nostalgia.
People will be able to tell
AI writing as it exists in 2023 is easy to identify. Despite attempts to change its style, there is a certain middle ground in AI writing that is hard to describe exactly, but becomes more apparent the more you encounter it. While the obituary as a form is already rife with clichés, these are comforting human clichés, not machine-made ones, and people will see the difference. This is especially true depending on what tone you choose for your AI obituary. Choosing “playful” led to shockingly inappropriate results:
“The life [of the deceased] was a wonderful and fun journey that ended … [when] she passed away from dementia-related complications.”
No less terrifying was the “poetic” tone:
“Although complications from dementia have taken her from our side, her memory will live on, a love that will not subside.”
Ugh.
Everyone will know what you did. Your cousins at the funeral will probably be too polite to call you, but you will always be thought of as “the person who used AI to write his mother’s obituary.” You don’t need that kind of baggage.
Is this what your loved one wants?
I don’t agree with the belief that the dead have a bird’s eye view of us and judge what we do, so I don’t take the imaginary wishes of people who are gone too seriously. So I’ll just say this: if there is any afterlife, your mother-in-law would never approve of an AI-generated obituary. You can use the “This is what they wanted” excuse in many situations (“Yes, I’m spending all of Nana’s savings on a jet ski. This is what she would like!”), but not in this one.
Obituaries are not for the dead. they are for you
In the midst of funeral planning, property management, and grief, the task of writing an essay can seem like an unfair burden, but like most bizarre death rituals, there’s a reason we keep doing it.
The writing process makes you think about the impact your loved one has had on your life and the lives of everyone around them. Writing an obituary allows you to honor the dead by telling their story, as well as an opportunity to express your own grief and begin to deal with the reality of their absence from your life. Shifting this task to AI makes this process pointless.
Even writing an obituary hagiography is a rewarding exercise. To leave out the nasty and unflattering details, you must first think about them and decide what information your loved one would like the world to know so you can give them one last gift of positive PR or really stick it on them. If you prefer.
Not even writing an obituary or a letter in which a funeral home sends out bare details is preferable to a robot eulogy. At the very least, it says either “we were too grief-stricken to do it” or “we just don’t care”. Both are correct responses to death and something to think about later. “Why was I so lacking in courage that I couldn’t write 500 words about my beloved Aunt Marge?” You may ask yourself. The AI obituary doesn’t say anything at all, it just lets you create the illusion that you don’t give a shit. After all, it’s just a way to avoid responsibility.
The only acceptable way to use AI to write an obituary
I don’t think you should ever use AI to write an obituary, but if you must, consider it an organizing tool or a tool to spark your creativity, not a source of creativity. Instead of asking an obituary generator to come up with a finished product, go to ChatGPT and ask them to write a simple obituary outline for you.
You will receive this prompt:
Introduction
A. Passage Announcement
B. Brief mention of the profession of a bus driver
C. Highlighting the unique aspect of your life – climbing as a hobby.
II. Early life and education
A. Background information about the upbringing and family of a person
B. Education and any relevant accomplishments or interests during that time
You can then fill in the gaps with relevant details and personal feelings, instead of the finished text created by the soulless robot.