Ask Your Best Friend Three Questions to Find Out Who You Are Outside of Work
Even if you’re one of the lucky few who genuinely loves your job, you probably don’t want your personality to be defined solely by what you currently do for a living. Jobs and careers change, but there are some basic skills and characteristics that you use, or at least have at your disposal, no matter how you make money.
And yet, it can be difficult for some to recognize these traits in themselves and understand exactly who they are outside of work.
In a recent article for Fast Company, Christina Wallace , senior lecturer in business administration at Harvard Business School, shared three questions she asked other people to get a clearer picture of the unique set of skills and experiences people associate with her, in or out. working environment.
Here’s what you can do to replicate her experiment.
Find people to ask
First, find out who could provide you with the information you need. These should be people you trust and whose opinion you value, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you have to know them for many years.
However, you want to pick people you’ve collaborated with and ideally connected with in some way—whether it’s a project at work or a volunteer group, a social club, or a friendship.
Although Wallace asked almost 100 people to answer her questions and received about 70 responses, you don’t have to go that far. However, having many people from different areas of your life will give more comprehensive answers due to a wider range of points of view.
Questions to ask a friend or colleague to learn more about yourself
Now that you have your people, figure out how and where to ask them your questions. Wallace met with her contacts in person to chat over coffee, but if that’s not possible for you, a phone or video call will work too. An email or text message should be the last resort: people tend to get a little formal and held back when they’re writing something compared to when they’re talking to someone out loud.
Here are three questions that Wallace asked his contacts:
- When did you see me at my happiest?
- Why are you coming to me?
- How do I stand out among my peers?
Analyze answers
As Wallace points out , the purpose of this exercise is to “see yourself as others see you,” so take into account any valuable insights you get. In evaluating the responses she received to the questions, she found that they were relatively consistent, whether they came from someone she had worked with for decades or someone she had only known a few. months.
She also noticed that rather than referencing specific industry experiences, her contacts pointed to general “mindsets, skills and conditions” in which they saw her flourish.
Like Wallace, keep track of the patterns you identify when people answer your questions. Ideally, you will come out of this experience with a better understanding of who you are both on and off the job.