You Are Using Lubricant Incorrectly
Lube is one of those amazing sex hacks that you probably don’t use enough. Want better orgasms? Use lubricant. Want less pain and friction? Use lubricant. Want the best sex around? Use lubricant.
“Lubrication should be an important component of your sex life,” says Gigi Angle, certified sex educator and resident relationship expert at 3Fun . “It provides a barrier against friction from the penis, hand, or sex toy. This will help you experience less pain during penetration and increase sensitivity. Lubrication makes everything better. It may even make your orgasms better and stronger. It enhances everything.”
But for something so right, we are also very wrong about lubrication. Here Engle breaks down some of the most common misconceptions and myths about lubricants.
Myth #1: All lubricants are the same
Not all lubricants are created equal, so it’s important to tick the box before purchasing whichever you’re looking for. You can also try different types to see what works best for you.
Water based
“Water-based lube is sort of an all-purpose personal lubricant,” Angle says. “It happens with every kind of intercourse and you never have to think about it. When in doubt, always choose the water-based option.” Water-based lubricants also work best with condoms and sex toys.
Cons: “It absorbs fairly quickly (and can also get a little sticky) and needs to be reapplied during sex play,” she says. “This doesn’t apply to all brands, but definitely to most of them, even high-end ones.”
What she recommends: Sustain Natural, Lovehoney, Unbound Jelly, Good Clean Love.
based on silicone
“Silicone lube is great for maintaining strength,” Angle says. “You almost never have to reapply. Ideal for anal play. It’s super slippery, making it ideal for easy access.”
Cons: “Silicone toys are not compatible with silicone lubricant,” she notes. “It can be tricky when you’re trying to use a vibrator during sex (or single play), a butt plug, or any other silicone toy.”
What she recommends: Sliquid, System Joe.
Hybrid
“Hybrid lube is a mixture of silicone and water-based lube,” Angle says. “You get all the benefits of water-based versatility and silicone-based slipperiness. It’s kind of like a little miracle in a bottle.”
Cons: “Sometimes hybrid lube can still damage silicone toys, but that’s less likely,” she says. “Check the labels to be sure. The recommendations below will not damage your toys.”
What she recommends: Babelube Silk, Sliquid Naturals.
Fragrant
Engle says flavored lubricants should only be used for oral sex. “Scented lube can irritate the vulva,” she says. “They are often full of glycerin, which feeds the yeast in the vagina. Hello milkmaid! Do not go there. Stick to something tasteless, unscented and organic.”
Vegetable
For those who want something more organic or homemade, Engle recommends a plant-based option. “If you want to switch to an all-natural diet, a plant-based lubricant is the way to go,” she says. “Oil-based [vegetable] lubricants stay there at F. Aloe vera, although not oil-based, is a favorite of Sex Coaching legend Betty Dodson. She even uses it in all of her workshops. Alternatively, you can buy all plant-based options at your local health food store.”
Want more creativity at home? Coconut oil is indeed a good lubricant, “it’s just not compatible with latex condoms and can damage toys, so I wouldn’t recommend it if you’re using those items,” Angle says.
Myth #2: Lube is only for the elderly and those who are not as “experienced”
Some people may still think lube is just for vaginal dryness, but Angle says lube is for everyone. “It makes sex better, no matter your age,” she says. “It’s true that as you get older you stop producing as much natural lubrication, but many people produce less, no matter their age.”
Engle adds that no matter your age, “rubbing doesn’t make a vulva or anus happy. It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. It doesn’t mean you’re broken. No matter how wet your vagina naturally gets, there is always room for lubrication.”
Myth #3: Lube is only for the penis/vagina
Angle says lube is good for all types of sex because lube is good for all types of penetration. “This is especially important during anal sex, as the anus is not naturally lubricated like a vagina,” she says. “If you don’t use lube during anal sex, you will definitely experience pain and may cause tears. Lube should also be used during manual sex as your hand is dry and this will cause friction.” In addition, she suggests using toy lube as it “creates a barrier and enhances sensations.”
Myth #4: A lubricated condom is good enough.
Many condoms come pre-lubricated, and while Angle says condom lubrication is helpful, it’s definitely not enough. “It’s usually lightly lubricated to keep the condom from drying out, but that’s not enough to make sex enjoyable and comfortable,” she says. “Always lube your penis first, then put on a condom, and then apply some more lube.”
Myth #5: There is such a thing as too much lube.
“Here’s the tea: when it comes to sex, the wetter the better,” Angle says. “That’s why, as a certified sex educator, I recommend that every person with a vulva should always have a high-quality lube on their nightstand.” According to Angle, you don’t need to use lube if you feel like you don’t need it, as that’s everyone’s personal preference. “But no, being ‘too wet’ is a myth born of shame and misogyny,” she says. I would say that the only really common mistake is not using it enough. Be as generous as possible. When you don’t use enough, it doesn’t work. If it gets sticky or starts to feel dry, feel free to take more.”