Use the Triangle Method to Find Out If Someone Is Lying to You
According to Karen Donaldson , an expert in communication and body language, manipulative people generally fall into one of two categories. Firstly, there are those who understand what they are doing wrong, but they don’t care – as long as they get what they want. And there are those who are convinced that they are right and that their actions are justified.
But how to distinguish one from the other? In an interview with Entrepreneur , Donaldson recommends using what she calls the “triangle” method: a three-pronged approach that can help you determine if someone is lying to you. Here’s what you need to know.
How to understand that someone is lying to you
By paying attention to these three areas, you can tell if someone is being honest with you:
The flow of their speech
When a person speaks, pay attention to his pace. Usually, when we speak the truth, our words flow naturally. We don’t think about things as we go: we know what happened because it actually happened.
“When people’s speech patterns start to get erratic and they pause too long, a lot of ideas come up and they stop for a moment, maybe they create stories that fit the occasion,” says Donaldson . Entrepreneur .
Head movements and facial expressions
Even if someone knows how to change the way they speak, their head movements and facial expressions can give away the fact that they are lying. Examples of this include:
- The person suddenly looks up or down
- Someone saying he didn’t do something by nodding, or saying he did something by shaking his head
- Pressing lips together briefly, then rubbing them together (like they’re putting on lip balm)
The rest of their body language
It is understandable that lying causes stress in people. And that’s why Donaldson says that when someone is dishonest with us, he behaves in a complacent way. This may include things like:
- Scratching or rubbing the neck
- Touching the tip of the nose after saying something
- Excessive use of the non-dominant hand
“When we’re stressed … we touch ourselves excessively because it’s a caring gesture that comes from childhood, ” Donaldson tells Entrepreneur magazine . “Just think about it: when your parent or guardian comforts you, they rub your hand, they rub your back. We do it to ourselves.”