How to Know If You Have a “good” Therapist
There are good therapists out there and we have some tips on how to find them . You’ll also want to find out if the type of therapy your therapist offers is appropriate for the problems you’re facing. But once you’ve gotten past the stage of getting to know each other, you may be wondering: How do I know I’ve found a good person? Here are some questions to ask.
They must be professionals in regards to privacy and ethics
A good therapist will explain their policies and ask you to sign or verbally agree to an informed consent agreement. According to Psych Central , failure to do so is a major red flag. It is considered ethical for a therapist to disclose information in a small number of scenarios, including if they suspect abuse or if they have been subpoenaed.
The therapist must also treat clients as clients, not as friends. Being friendly is okay; special treatment or treatment of close friends or family members as clients is not.
If you are not sure what behavior is considered professional, you can refer to the code of ethics of the respective organization. Here are the codes of the American Psychological Association , the American Psychiatric Association , and the National Association of Social Workers , just to name a few.
Their approaches must be evidence-based
You are here not only to talk about your feelings, but also to work on solving the problems that brought you to the therapist’s office in the first place. A good therapist will use one or more established techniques, some of which we will explain here . You can ask your therapist what types of therapies they use and what science knows about the effectiveness of those types.
It is also fair to expect some scientific approach to therapy itself: does therapy still work? Does your therapist set realistic expectations and is willing to refine his approach if things don’t go as expected?
They should make you feel supported and accepted.
Therapy isn’t always easy or fun, but you shouldn’t feel like you’re being judged or that your concerns are being ignored. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness , a good therapist treats you like an equal, not like “the doctor knows best.” They may express concern about the decisions you are making, but you should not feel like they are judging you or ignoring your feelings. If you walk away from a meeting feeling insulted or ashamed, something is wrong.
They must challenge you sometimes
A good therapist can show acceptance and compassion for you as a person while helping you deal with things that may be uncomfortable. You can get “homework” that takes you outside of your comfort zone. It’s good if it’s done in the right way in a safe and supportive way.
Good therapy encourages you to become more independent and more in control of your situation as you gain the necessary skills to do so. “All therapy in a fundamental sense is self-therapy,” says the Psychology Today manual . Over time, you should feel less dependent on your therapist, not more.