These Habits Are Cute on Dates but Annoying in Relationships, According to Lifehacker Readers.
Last week I asked you to tell me the last time your rose-colored glasses lost their pink tint. Because as the early stages of dating turn into the harsh realities of a serious relationship, some behaviors go from cute to downright annoying. Harmless examples include constant buzzing, clinical snoring, or constant sneezing a million times in a row. More serious crimes include things like people who never stop joking, even in serious situations.
Here’s what Lifehacker readers have identified as the top quirks you find cute when you first fall in love, but slowly turn into sources of tension in long-term relationships.
“Teasing” is not always teasing
Many people hide passive aggression behind “jokes”. Reader Bassbeast explains: “At first it seems like a fun, playful tease. But after a while, you begin to doubt your motivation, and it becomes insulting. Signature, someone who is happily married to this person, but he needed a lot of important conversations first.” Speaking like someone who makes a lot of deadpan, potentially hurtful jokes, it’s important to make it clear that you’re not trying to hurt the other person.
Another ThundercatsRidesAgain commenter shares a similar experience, but with a different ending: “I was never sure if he was joking or not, and it was so exhausting. When I thought he was serious about something, and instead he pulled my leg, it seemed to me that he was doing it to unbalance me. I didn’t like where this dynamic was leading, so after a couple of conversations in which he refused to understand it, I untie him.” It doesn’t have to be total ” negging ” to break the deal. Sometimes your senses of humor just don’t match, and there’s no point in staying with someone who always makes you the butt of jokes.
When “fun” turns into “recklessness”
When you first start dating someone new, it can be exciting. Maybe they encourage you to come out from under your shell or provide an escape from real life while always being “the most fun”. However, what starts out as fun can turn into a problem. Antifaz says that “an old college girlfriend I met at a party at first seemed free, amazing, wild and so much fun! Later, alcoholism and addiction to marijuana turned into a little problem … ”So, no matter how exciting such a person may be at first, in a real relationship it is not always stable or healthy.
Being too relaxed
One reader commented that “in the beginning, it can be quite convenient to be able to set your own schedule and choose where you want to go and what you want to do, but after you’ve been together for a while, it gets really frustrating when they’ve just won. not decide.” A carefree disposition is attractive when you first start going on dates with another person a lot. Because you and the other person must actually make decisions together, it becomes obvious when someone is more “calm” than “helpful.”
If something is bothering you, say so
It’s completely normal to get annoyed with your partner from time to time. However, many readers answered the question, “What do you find cute in dating and annoying in a relationship?” with direct answers like “my wife”. (Borat impression.) If you find yourself constantly annoyed by your significant other and every little thing they do, you may need to zoom out and figure out what’s really bothering you.
Luckily, the answers highlighted above represent perfectly resolvable behavior. Think about annoying things that you might catch on to yourself now, or at least you can talk productively about them with your partner before it’s too late.