What Is Dependent Personality Disorder (and Can It Ruin Your Relationships)?
There is an endless amount of advice on what to avoid in order to maintain a strong relationship. You must learn each other’s love languages ; communicate openly about finances and sex ; and seek advice when needed are just some of the things you should do without risking separation. Relationships are work . However, some elements of a good relationship are beyond your conscious control. For example, you may have a personality disorder that really affects how your union goes. We’ve talked a lot about the romantic consequences of Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder , but let’s take a look at how Dependent Personality Disorder can affect your relationships and what you can do about it.
What is Dependent Personality Disorder?
Here is the definition of DPD, according to the Cleveland Clinic :
Dependent personality disorder (PDD) is a type of anxiety disorder. People with mental retardation often feel helpless, submissive, or unable to take care of themselves. They may have trouble making simple decisions.
It may sound as simple as an “obsessive” or “needy” person ( who really should never be called a partner ), but it’s actually deeper – and the Cleveland Clinic notes that with help, a person with DPD can learn more. self-confidence and self-confidence.
DDD is one of the 10 types of personality disorders and it begins in childhood or at least 29 years of age. A person with this disorder has a deep need for care from others, relying on loved ones for their emotional and even physical needs. They may even believe that they cannot take care of themselves.
How does DPD affect relationships?
A person with mental retardation may be so unwilling to make their own decisions that they will rely on others to choose what to wear every day – to name just one example. In a romantic partnership where both parties must take care of each other, manage finances, take care of the home or children, and generally act as one, it will obviously be a major problem if one person decides what the other is. wear, eat and do with their time, not to mention other more important decisions they will have to make for them.
What’s more, experts believe that DPD is more likely among people who have been in an abusive relationship or have experienced childhood trauma. This, of course, seriously affects future relationships, but helping a partner cope with problems related to past abuse or trauma can be difficult if he also refuses to take personal responsibility or make his own choices.
While it can be frustrating for a non-BPD partner, the disorder can also be very detrimental to the person who has it: Dr. Suzanne Dejes-White recently wrote about BPD for Psychology Today and explained, “They are so desperate for love that they are yield to the desires of significant others in everything from the mundane to the monumental. Choice of clothes, activity, choice of food, diet, place of residence and daily routine – all this is left to others to decide.
Thus, in the hands of a controlling partner, a person with mental retardation is indeed at risk of unhealthy behavior. The Cleveland Clinic notes that people with this disorder are also more likely to stay in unhealthy relationships.
What to do if you suspect you or your partner has DPD
If you or your partner is “needy” or clinging to the point where one person’s decision making comes to a complete halt and it seems like the other party is making every choice in both people’s lives, it could be DPD, but you might find out.
A healthcare professional may examine you to see if some other condition is causing the symptoms, but after that, a mental health professional steps in to make a diagnosis of DPD by asking a few questions and comparing your answers to factors in the DSM-5. You will need five of these diagnostic criteria to make a diagnosis:
- An all-consuming and unrealistic fear of being abandoned
- Feeling restless or helpless when alone
- Inability to cope with one’s responsibilities without outside help
- Expression Issues
- A strong desire to get the support of others, even if it means doing things you don’t like.
- Trouble making everyday decisions on your own
- Trouble starting or completing projects due to lack of self-confidence or inability to make choices
- Seeking new relationships whenever a close relationship ends
While you can chalk up the compulsive behavior to someone ‘s attachment style , if it is indeed DPD, you should know because help is available to help you make a diagnosis and move forward.