How to (Productively) Tell a Co-Worker They Screwed Up
You’ve definitely been on both sides of the compliment sandwich – it’s an overrated idea that in order to give the best feedback , you have to layer the main criticism with positivity before and after. Finding praise is easy enough (even if you have to sugarcoat the truth here and there). How about when you struggle with the meat of the sandwich – areas that need improvement?
Especially when you’re dealing with someone who made a mistake at work , you want your feedback to be detailed enough so that the recipient has specific ways to move forward. Use the following points to add specificity to your feedback so that your colleague or employee can actually learn, grow, and improve.
Avoid the heat of the moment
When a colleague or employee screwed up, it’s natural to feel frustrated or angry. However, your reaction will be more productive if you give yourself some time to thoughtfully decide what went wrong. Otherwise, the focus of the conversation will be on frustration rather than looking for solutions for the future.
Make sure you give yourself some time and space to get an idea and then speak your mind with a clearer head. However, don’t wait too long – no one needs the added stress of putting off an awkward conversation.
Use details to make your feedback more effective
Effective feedback needs to be detailed enough so that the recipient can move forward and improve. “Don’t do ____ again ” is hardly an action. Here is a mental checklist you can use to get specific in your review. In addition, following all these points will make your criticism as objective as possible, which will help all participants avoid feelings of embarrassment or shame.
Scale. Communicate the seriousness of the problem to your colleague. Make it clear if this is a minor moment or an important event. This will help determine the seriousness of the entire conversation.
Frequency. Is this a one-time violation or a recurring behavior? Tell your colleague what you noticed and ask him what he thinks about his behavior.
Influence. Who is affected at work by this error? How so? Decipher it for your colleague.
Intention. Get to the bottom of the person’s mind. Perhaps what you perceive as a mistake is their version of a new way of doing things at work. Ask them about their decision-making process and what they thought they were trying to achieve.
With all these details, stick to the facts , and don’t let your emotional point of view guide your conversations.
Offer help and solutions
As with the compliment sandwich, one of the most important components of effective feedback is giving it some sort of positive character. Most likely, this positive takes the form of a far-sighted decision.
Again, specificity is your friend. A “solution” like ” Manage your time better ” is vague and difficult to implement. More helpful would be to offer ideas such as “Have you thought about downloading a project management app?” or do you need help figuring out how to delegate some of your tasks? Even if these are not the solutions you came up with, questions like these will open the conversation as you work together to find a working idea. Be prepared to answer additional questions or consult with a colleague ahead of time.
Instead of harping on what went wrong, try to end your feedback session with specific ideas for growth. The compliment sandwich can be overrated, but a little positivity is the key to making sure your feedback stays the same.