How to Communicate When You Have Social Anxiety
Networking has a number of tangible benefits, from finding mentors who can help you navigate your career and peers who can offer advice and support, to identifying potential clients for your next job. However, as helpful as networking can be, it can also be downright terrifying.
“Anxiety is more common when it comes to networking,” says Christy Hunter Arscott , career consultant, speaker, and author of Start Bold: How Women Can Rethink Risk, Embrace Uncertainty, and Launch a Brilliant Career . “Most people report being nervous or anxious before doing this.”
This anxiety can range from feeling butterflies in your stomach to full blown panic at the thought of attending a networking event. However, before you give up on the idea of networking entirely, there are a number of strategies that can help reduce your anxiety so you can build a strong professional network.
“What we do know is that networking and the strength of our connections correlate with career success and fulfillment,” said Hunter Arscott. “The question is not whether we will feel anxious. We will probably feel anxiety, but how are we going to manage these emotions and connect within them?”
Curiosity Helps Reduce Anxiety
One effective way to reduce anxiety is to approach networking with a sense of curiosity. “Curiosity is a powerful tool for dealing with fear and insecurity in dealing with others,” said Hunter Arscott.
As she points out, curiosity helps shift attention from our nerves to the people you meet. “The advantage is that you learn about other people and are also more likely to find common ground.”
As a 2017 study found, people with an inquisitive mindset are less socially stigmatized and more liked by their peers. “It’s really one simple solution that can have so many benefits,” said Hunter Arscott.
Also, the language we use can make a big difference. Studies show that the very thought of networking makes many people feel dirty. “The way we create something has different psychological and behavioral implications,” said Hunter Arscott.
Because of this, Hunter Arscott eschews using the term “networking” and instead defines it as connecting with others. “You can choose the phrase that means the most to you, but either way, the right phrase can reduce those feelings of dislike and anxiety,” she said.
The sooner you start working online, the better
When it comes to networks, they can often pay dividends years later, so it’s important to get started as early as possible. “Early start is very important if you want to achieve total profit,” said Hunter Arscott.
When it comes to long-term career success, it can often be helpful to have a wide network of people from different roles, organizations, and professions. While these relationships may not be particularly helpful in the short term, they can often be helpful later on when circumstances change.
“One mistake I see people make is to wait until they feel like they need a network to start developing connections, and it’s already too late. You can’t wait until you’re ready to transfer roles or organizations to create a network, as it’s too late. Connections should start before you have a need,” said Hunter Arscott.