How to Deal With an Emotional Breakdown at Work
We all have bad days at work. When you do this, our emotions can all too easily spiral out of control, whether it’s crying at your desk over bad news or lashing out at a colleague in anger. If you find yourself getting discouraged at work, there are coping strategies that can help temper your emotions, mitigate any damage your outbreak may cause, and help prevent the next one.
“Emotional regulation is the main strategy you want to move towards,” saidMelody Wilding , an executive coach who specializes in working with highly sensitive people. “Emotional regulation means you have more control and influence over how you experience your emotions.”
Process—don’t bottle up—your emotions
If you find yourself starting to melt, the most important thing to do is find a productive outlet to process your emotions, not just suppress them or pretend they’re not there. As Wilding says, suppressing emotions is a bit like trying to hold a beach ball underwater. While you can handle it for a while, once you stop the beach ball will fly out of the water, often hitting you (or someone around you) in the process.
“The emotions are the same,” Wilding said. “To get through a crisis, you have to actually process your emotions.” Helpful strategies for processing your emotions might include walking away from work, listening to music, or journaling for a few minutes.
Create some distance
If you find that your emotions are getting out of control, it’s best to create some distance and give yourself time and space to reflect. This distance can be literal: take a walk, reschedule any meetings, or log out of Zoom/Slack for a few hours. “Take a time out,” Wilding advised.
When it comes to emotional distance, Wilding suggests practicing what she calls psychological distance as you try to see things from the outside. One way to do this is to name your inner critic and try to imagine what you would say if it were a friend in this situation. “That little distance can help get you out,” Wilding said.
You need a strategy to control damage
If you’ve already had a breakdown at work, there are ways to recover from it. Studies show that if employees frame their stress as a sign of passion and commitment to work, they are treated more favorably.
As Wilding suggests, it’s helpful to refresh yourself after the fact by saying something like, “I realize I’ve gotten a little emotional, it’s because I really care about the quality of the work we’re doing.”
If you can connect the crisis with your passion for your work and desire to succeed for yourself and your team or company, this will help to minimize the damage.
Define your triggers
To prevent future disruptions in the workplace, it’s important to identify situations that are particularly stressful for you and actively work to minimize them and better deal with them when they arise. It could be a fear of public speaking, an inability to deal with criticism, or a colleague who knows how to offend you. “Knowing your triggers is very important,” Wilding said.
Once you have identified these triggers, it is important to actively work on managing your reactions to them. This includes developing coping strategies, whether it’s taking a short walk before a stressful situation, bringing in a friend to discuss it, or setting tighter boundaries with your co-workers.
One structure that Wilding finds useful to know about is “HALT” which stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired . These four stressors can make it difficult for you to regulate your emotions, which is why it’s good to do some self-assessment on tough days. If you feel hungry, angry, lonely, or tired, this is a signal that you need to work on your physical and emotional well-being before you can deal with a stressful situation. Take a break, have a snack, talk to a friend. You can handle it.