Throw Your Ties in the Damn Trash Already
Disparate publications such as the Wall Street Journal, the Times of India and the Financial Times ask: Will ties ever be relevant again? Are ties dying out? and ” Is this the end of a tie? Let me answer: ties are irrelevant, dying out and disappearing.
It is high time for gentlemen to stop wearing ties. These cloth relics are ridiculous, outdated, and potentially harmful to both your health and your self-esteem. They are bad for you as an individual and bad for society as a whole, and once you separate yourself from their cultural significance and baggage and look at them objectively, they will be as stupid as spats.
If you’re forced to wear a tie because you have some kind of “professional job”, it’s time to fight back against your oppressors and demand freedom for your neck. What are they going to do, fire everyone ? Over a piece of cloth? Workers are rebelling and unionizing across the country over wages and benefits. Isn’t it just as important not to wear a tie?
Who are tie wearers?
Do you know who always wears a tie? Salespeople, lawyers, and politicians are all based on trying to gain the trust of people who shouldn’t really trust you.
Less consistent tie wearers include people who follow the annoying advice of “dress for the job you want to have” (that’s why I dress like Wonder Woman) and aspire to become business people who do stock or mortgage business. These people are essentially auditioning for a role in a closing play or trying to get into a club that no longer exists.
Unfortunately, some people are actually impressed with people in ties or trust men in suits more than men who are usually dressed, but I feel that this is starting to change. Anyway, for me it is; when I see someone wearing a tie, I assume it’s a revenue agent who’s come to shut down my distiller.
Science says ties are bad for health
Science said:
- Ties restrict blood flow to the brain .
- Wearing a tie can ” impair cerebral venous return and thereby worsen cerebrovascular reactivity.”
- Wearing a tie may affect the treatment of glaucoma .
- Wearing ties can increase stress on the upper trapezius and exacerbate musculoskeletal injuries .
I understand that these are not the studies that show the alarming dangers of wearing ties, and I wonder what conclusion these same scientists would draw about the dangers of wearing trousers, but I don’t know of any studies that show that wearing a tie is healthier than wear a tie. don’t wear a tie. So, I’ll go ahead and come to the conclusion that connections are killing us all.
What is a tie anyway?
If you don’t use it to wipe your mouth, the tie has no function. This is all cuteness, so you have to ask yourself why you or anyone else would want you to tie a piece of fabric around your neck, but only in a certain way, using one of the four knots.
The cultural and symbolic meaning of the tie is open to interpretation, but you can view the tie as either a giant arrow pointing down at your junk (gross) or as a symbolic image of your very penis being cut off and tied to your body. neck at the request of a superior person (curly).
Traditionally, ties have served as the only place where a man can express his individuality through clothing. The rest of the suit was gray flannel, but you had a tiny piece of fabric that you could embellish to express who you are. This led to guys wearing new ties with golf shirts, ties in the colors of their alma mater, duck ties for guys who really love ducklings, and other sad little “statements.” Instead, why not just dress like the person you are everywhere? Be brave and put your golf t-shirts over your pants. Unbutton your shirt and wear a gold lion pendant. In any case, the world is almost over.
Ties are out of fashion, nerd
There’s an old saying I made up: “As Lancaster, California, so is the world,” and R. Rex Parris, mayor of Lancaster , recently asked his city attorney to see if he could stop city employers from requiring employees to wear ties to work. It doesn’t seem to have gone away, but R. Rex asked the right question: can I use the draconian power of local government to dictate what people are allowed to wear? While I answered: “What? No!” the mayor’s heart is in the right place. But it won’t take a state machine to crush a tie. Ties are old-fashioned heirlooms and won’t come back. The current heroes of capitalism, the Silicon Valley techies, haven’t worn ties for at least 20 years. Richard Branson doesn’t wear a tie.Don Knotts opted for a stylish ascot.As The Atlantic points out, ties are the new bow ties , and you don’t want to be the guy who wears the bow tie, trust me.
When is it good to wear a tie?
They’re unhealthy, funny, and outdated, but there are two (and only two) cases where wearing a tie is a good idea.
1When you play dress up
I’m lucky enough to live in LA where almost no one fucks with ties, so I haven’t had to wear a tie since I went to a Catholic high school. The occasions where someone even expects me to wear a tie – weddings, prosecutions – are few and far between, but it’s fun to dress formally in the old school style for the right occasion, so I keep a few good ties in my closet. (I also have a magical robe to go to the Renaissance Fair.)
If you pull Val Lewton
Film producer Val Lewton emerged in the 1950s, when even people working on films had to wear ties every day. Lewton, the producer of Cat People among other masterpieces, was a man of culture with a stylish appearance, but occasionally, seemingly by accident, he appeared at RKO Pictures in an extremely ugly tie. When asked about it, Lewton explained, “I only wear this tie when I have an appointment with someone I hate. So they have to look at it.” This is my favorite reason to wear a tie.