What Intrusive Thoughts Really Are (and How to Overcome Them)

I can’t walk across a bridge without thinking, ” I’m going to throw my phone in the water. Fortunately, I never acted on this involuntary “obsessive thought.” And since I’m online all the time, I know I’m not the only one who finds humor in these kinds of obsessive thoughts. It is fashionable to use this term to refer to any stupid, unwanted or inexplicable thoughts. ( Here’s a video that shows it well . And here’s another .) While the term is used to explain funny, weird, and ultimately harmless thoughts, many unwanted intrusive thoughts are part of a serious mental disorder. What can you do to overcome intrusive thoughts that disgust and upset you?

I spoke with Dr. Sally Winston , licensed psychologist, founder and executive director of the Maryland Institute for Anxiety and Stress Disorders and co-author of Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts. When I mentioned the “trendy” of obsessive thoughts on the Internet, Winston immediately understood that it was the difference between “passing obsessions” and “stuck, unwanted obsessions.” While the former are universal experiences and often funny, the latter are not laughable and can be extremely frightening to the person experiencing them. Here’s what you need to know about unwanted intrusive thoughts and how to deal with them.

Anyone can have intrusive thoughts

Winston says that these thoughts that invade your mind from seemingly nowhere can be weird, inappropriate, taboo, absurd, and sometimes amazingly creative.

Most intrusive thoughts are irrelevant and are forgotten in a matter of seconds. According to Winston, this is completely normal.

Unfortunately, when an unwanted intrusive thought gets stuck and repetitive, this “normal occurrence” becomes a real problem. “These thoughts are disgusting, shameful, or completely uncharacteristic,” says Winston, “and they come with a “whistle” or a surge of emotion stuck to them.” Such intrusive thoughts are instantly frustrating and bring with them a strong desire to fight them.

“These thoughts get stuck if you struggle with them, get confused about what they might mean, or think you need to deal with them,” Winston explains. “The fuel that makes them come back is precisely these attempts to suppress, understand or expel them.”

The key point to remember is that intrusive thoughts are not necessarily urges, but the emotional “whistling” that Winston describes can make them feel that way. Thus, although thoughts are of great importance to a person, they do not necessarily lead to action.

You are not your obsessive thoughts

Suddenly the thought arises to do something that you would never consciously think about. One obsessive thought easily leads to a thought spiral wondering if obsessive thoughts somehow reveal your true self and hidden desires. Winston cites the example of a new mother who has an obsessive thought: “ What if I drop the baby? “settled in their head. This thought transforms into “ What if this means that I want to leave the child? Why can’t I prevent this thought? ” and finally, “ Something is wrong with me. ”

Winston says it’s not. The reason intrusive thoughts get stuck is because they are “not aligned with you, your values, the way you see yourself, or what’s important to you.” Intrusive thoughts are so frustrating precisely because they are not who you really are.

Overcoming and dealing with intrusive thoughts

Winston says that the treatment for intrusive thoughts is to first understand what these thoughts are and what are not. To recap, obsessive thoughts are not revelations about your “unconscious” or “true desires.” They are also not urges that will force you to do something against your will.

After understanding the nature of these thoughts, your attitude towards them changes. As explained above, the struggle to expel these thoughts makes them stay. To overcome them, Winston explains, you must learn to switch off thoughts so that they run out of fuel on their own and disappear.

Let the thought invade, then let it pass

Although it sounds counterintuitive, Winston says that “you have to let the thoughts happen.” The first step is to identify and label them for what they are. Winston advises thinking about the phrase “I have a thought that …” right before the most obsessive thought. It works because it reminds you to “pay attention to the process, not the content” of the thought.

Each person will deal with their intrusive thoughts in their own way, without trying to fight or “fix” them. The conclusion is to recognize the difference between a thought and an impulse, and that the instinctive desire to drive out a thought will only increase its intrusion.

Recovery possible

Once you understand how you deal with intrusive thoughts, you will take the first step towards overcoming them. If you are suffering and feeling threatened by these thoughts, Winston advises you to see a therapist who specializes in obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), as he will know not to waste time exploring the “why” of these thoughts, but instead focus on helping you. break away from them.

Remember that everyone has fleeting intrusive thoughts. We all come up with unacceptable images, annoying doubts or inexplicable “what ifs”. The key is to recognize these intrusive thoughts for what they are and, more importantly, what they are not.