Stop Being an Asshole on Venmo
While Venmo and other money-swapping apps have been popular for years, there is still some gray area when it comes to cost-sharing etiquette. On the one hand, it’s fantastic that a friend who never carries cash has no excuse not to pay his fair share of the dinner bill, which all but eliminates the song and dance of friendship duty. On the other hand, your most stingy friends can now turn an ordinary coffee date into an awkward deal, undermining the trust and reciprocity inherent in strong friendships. Asking someone for money can become very uncomfortable, very quickly. Even if you have every right to get what you are owed, there are certain unspoken rules about how you demand payment. And, as with everything that involves debt between friends, repeated violations of Venmo will only lead to resentment and tension over time.
Trying to draw a line around Venmo etiquette is not easy, as lending etiquette depends on your upbringing, privileges, and personal relationships. The following rules assume that your Venmo requests are friendly in nature – for example, for social expenses such as dinner, concert tickets, transportation, and so on. So, with that said, here’s how not to be an asshole on Venmo.
The applicant must take the first step
I think everything is easier when the person requesting the money takes the first step. Things get confusing when one person sends a payment without waiting for a request; While it may seem polite to send a payment in advance, you may accidentally (or intentionally) undervalue the amount due, embarrassing the recipient.
Always warn
Chat outside of the Venmo app before submitting a request. Whether you’re communicating in person or need to send a quick reminder, avoid sending accusations out of the blue.
Time is of the essence, so hurry up
As a general rule, sooner rather than later is better for everyone involved. If you can pay off at the moment, it will be preferable to the uncertainty and forgetfulness that grows over time.
According to Venmo’s own etiquette blog post , 72% of Venmo users agree that 24 hours is the rule of thumb for payment windows, whether you’re requesting or making a payment.
Also, depending on the amount of the payment, you shouldn’t charge your friend for something made months (or even weeks) ago. Even though you owe money, it’s not fair to the other person if you suddenly dump their debt on them after putting it off for so long.
Use nudge with care
Venmo allows you to nudge another person if they haven’t responded to your request. Even though a 24 to 48 hour window is proper etiquette, everyone gets forgotten and distracted from time to time. If someone still hasn’t paid after a week, a friendly nudge is appropriate.
If you owe money, give the other person a schedule
We can’t always pay off our debts right away. If you have to wait until the next paycheck to pay someone, just let them know – if they are your friends, they will understand.
Don’t be a devotee
If you fight over a penny, you’ll find that your reputation as a follower isn’t worth all the pennies you’ve saved over the years.
Choose your battles
Both sincere misunderstandings and deliberately questionable behavior are inevitable. Set a threshold for payments you’re willing to eat to avoid awkward interactions.
For example, if someone asked for $5 more than I thought I owed them, I’d rather take a hit than confront and come across as cheap. If someone overpays me $20, I will ask them to double-check the bill and see how the math was wrong.
Clearly describe the transaction
Venmo requires you to add a short description to your payments. Don’t get me wrong – I love irreverent emoji. But for the sake of transparency and to avoid misunderstandings in the future, be sure to write a few words describing the transaction.
In general, the main communication
If possible, discuss in advance how everything will be shared. Please let us know about any expectations regarding money transfers before opening the application. Venmo isn’t the ideal platform for learning new information (even about your former partners).
Finally, don’t invite people to dinner and then surprise them with a Venmo charge . If you’re doing this, you don’t have to be hosting in the first place.