Why You Have to Walk With Someone to End an Argument
One of the by-products of living in a highly politicized society is the abundance of controversy. Even if you don’t participate in them yourself, we are constantly surrounded by people who turn aspects of everyday life into a political statement or a moral crusade and feel obligated to tell you about it.
This constant stream of one-sided arguments both in real life and on social media can make the actual arguments that take place in our lives at work or at home more tense than they would otherwise be. People are tense and may try to avoid (or sense) an attack by going on the offensive. But according to a growing body of research, physical movement — particularly walking with the person you’re arguing with — can be an effective argument-ending strategy. Here’s what you need to know.
Why movement is good for conflict resolution
In a February 2022 article on how physical movement can help turn diplomatic negotiations into arguments, Dr. Peter T. Coleman, a Columbia University professor who studies irresolvable conflict and sustainable peace, explains why standing up and moving your body can help your mind. is also moving.
But the strategy isn’t limited to conflicts that arise in the context of international diplomacy: Coleman says they can also be applied to day-to-day disputes between colleagues, partners, family members and others who don’t see eye to eye. He points to several studies , including this one , of which he co-authored, with findings indicating that for people, movement (he calls it “locomotion”) increases both people’s motivation and the likelihood of resolving interpersonal conflicts.
This makes sense, given Coleman’s definition of locomotion—”the need or desire to move from one state to another, such as from a cold state to a warm state”—because negotiation has a similar purpose. And when it comes to day-to-day conflicts and negotiations, he says a walk can go a long way.
Take a walk to help you think clearly
Before meeting the person you’re arguing with, Coleman recommends walking alone to collect your thoughts. This strategy can also be helpful when you’re thinking through a difficult situation, he says, because moving out of a physical space that you feel mentally stuck in and moving your body can trigger new ideas and feelings.
In fact, numerous studies have shown that activities such as walking, exercising, or gardening can help. According to Coleman, this is because these types of movement can “help get our minds out of a deep rut and sometimes free us from dysphoric ruminations and other types of adverse emotional traps.”
Take a walk to end the argument
The results of Coleman’s research show that in order to end an argument and/or come to an agreement, physical movement in sync with others improves cooperation and the ability to achieve common goals, and increases our compassion and willingness to help others. In fact, one 2017 study found that when a group of people walked in sync, they became more likely to make personal sacrifices that benefited the group.
So what does the perfect walk to end an argument look like? According to Coleman, when we consider what we have learned from various studies of movement and synchronization, optimal walks for resolving disputes and conflicts assume that people move smoothly, walking side by side in nature (or at least somewhere with small green).