Learn to Accept Damn Compliments
There’s a reason it’s called “accepting” a compliment – it’s a real commitment to receiving praise. You want to do it in a way that makes you feel humble, confident, and kind at the same time. But how?
I have to consciously work on not rejecting compliments or ditching them outright, but it makes everyone involved feel worse about the interaction. (Of course, this assumes that you’re willing to accept someone’s praise and don’t feel uncomfortable when a rude mocker tells you to “accept a compliment.”)
Compliments are supposed to instill a sense of pride, but often they also cause a lot of anxiety. If you’re embarrassed by praise, here are some tips on how to gracefully accept a damn compliment. Try them, if not for your own self-respect, then for the sake of everyone around you.
Don’t underestimate the compliment
Your desire to deny a compliment may be born of humility, but it comes at the expense of the person giving the compliment. Think about it: what should the other person do in this situation? Keep fighting you with praise until you accept it? Agree that they were wrong, and that you are still not great? Any response like “that’s not true” or “thank you, but…” only 1. makes you feel worse and 2. makes the person giving the compliment feel awkward. Instead, pause to suppress the urge to downplay the praise. As we’ll go into more detail below, sometimes a “thank you” is all you need.
Avoid the Battle of Compliments
As with the previous case, it’s natural to want to redirect the compliment as soon as you receive it. You may instinctively compliment the person who complimented you, but watch yourself. You may find yourself in an endless battle for supremacy in compliments. If you’re going to praise another person, don’t skip what they have to say; make sure you properly acknowledge and thank them first.
Compliment yourself
One way to make the compliment more natural is to express gratitude. Even if you struggle with perfectionism, self-doubt, and self-deprecation, you can channel your energy into making the person giving the compliment feel good. For example, try saying, ” Thank you, you always give the best compliments ” or ” I appreciate you taking the time to say this, you have such a manner with words .” By doing this, you both accept their praise and make them proud of themselves.
Have a ready answer
One surefire way to deal with being afraid of compliments is to fixate on a nice phrase. Here are some examples:
- “Thank you, you made my day.”
- “It means a lot, I worked really hard on it!”
- Thanks for noticing.
- “I’m glad you think so.
If you know you’ll be in a situation where someone might compliment you, have an answer in your back pocket.
Use “thank you” as a complete answer
When in doubt, don’t overdo it. Take the compliment at face value by saying “thank you” and then letting the conversation move on.
The body language factor
Have you ever complimented someone only to have them avoid eye contact, cross their arms and look for a way to get away from the conversation? The one who gives the compliment is left with a feeling of guilt, as if his praise did more harm than good.
Your body language is critical to graciously accepting a compliment. Try to make eye contact and smile while saying “thank you”. Even if you are nervous about what you are saying, your body language can go a long way in showing the complainer that their words are valuable.
Try to believe the compliment first
The easiest way to accept a compliment is to believe that you deserve the praise. Easier said than done, but all of the above tips will be much easier when you crush the voice in your head that refuses to take a compliment.
Unless someone is licking your boots for some reason, there are a few times when someone needs to go out of their way to compliment you. Chances are you really deserve it. You’re lucky. (I’m giving you a compliment. Take it, damn it!)