The Secret to True Self-Confidence
Have you picked up a new habit, say exercising, but keep going astray? Do you give up when the going gets tough? Does this whole idea of “pursuing goals” seem really intimidating? You may have low self-efficacy. But don’t worry: self-efficacy is something you can develop with practice.
What is self-efficacy?
Self-efficacy has to do with the idea of confidence, but it’s not just brashness for no reason. It is also associated with determination and, a little more remotely, with discipline and motivation.
When you have high self-efficacy, you believe you can do something . Whatever it is. Maybe you are just starting your long journey, but you know that you will reach the end. You see obstacles in your path as speed bumps, not barriers. If you run into a problem, you will find a way to solve it. You just know you will.
These beliefs are not something you are born with or something you get from luck or miracles. You build them over time, with practice and experience.
How to develop self-efficacy
Self-efficacy is based on the idea that you can control what you do and that you can control at least some of the things around you in your life. For example, if there was a blizzard on the day you were going to the gym, you don’t just skip exercise for the week. You can change your schedule to go another day, or you can do a home workout, or you can just remind yourself that your routine will make it through the day you missed and that your long term plan is still on track.
Here are some of the ways psychologists say we can increase self-efficacy:
Congratulate yourself on small victories
Past success is the fuel for future success . This applies to such small things as habits: if you managed to come to the gym once , it’s much easier to come on the second day.
This also applies to larger projects. If you’ve completed a beginner’s running program and “finished” by running a 5k run, that’s huge. You have learned that you can follow the program. You have learned that you can run further than you ever thought. You’ve learned what it means to go out for a run when you’re tired, but still finish. You’ve learned what it really feels like to shine at the finish line. And you can use it all over and over again when you start working on a new goal.
Another thing I love to do, especially when I haven’t seen success at something lately, is look for things I can be proud of in the process. I didn’t lift the 140-pound beam in my last strongman competition, but in training I gained 127 pounds, which is a hell of a lot more than I could do when I started.
Watch people do what you want to do
The second best thing, after reflecting on your own past experiences, is vicariously experiencing the success of others. You must choose your role models carefully; pay attention to who really inspires you.
For some people, the image of a world-class athlete can inspire them in the gym. It may be helpful for others to look to someone who is closer to you in skill level or experience. When your buddy hits a new deadlift record, you’ll be rooting for him, right? Even though you didn’t go to the bar, you still felt the whole gamut of emotions from nervousness when trying to celebrating success.
Look for people who inspire you
Believing in yourself doesn’t have to be a solo project. Just like you can cheer up your gym buddy, your buddy can cheer you up too. Also, try to find instructors, coaches, and mentors who make you feel unstoppable. If someone you trust thinks you can do something, you will start believing it too.
Visualize success (and failure)
When you’re trying to stay on the path, it’s helpful to know where the path leads. What will it look like to get to your destination? How will you feel when you cross the finish line, when you lift that target weight, when you eat vegetables at mealtime for a whole year?
While you’re at it – if you’re up for it – also imagine scenarios where you try to do something but momentarily can’t. How will you feel if you get injured, if a vacation throws you off balance, or if your gym buddy can’t come with you on deadlift day? Your plan is big enough to survive these obstacles, but it will help you think through them ahead of time and plan how you will deal with them. Then, when the time comes, you will not hesitate to carry out your plan.