Is It Worth Quitting Smoking for the Sake of a Relationship?

You already know that smoking is bad for you. To tell you this, there are billboards, commercials, and skull images on cigarette boxes, as if you also won’t hear brief comments from strangers offended by your puffs of smoke as you walk past them down the street. For now, anyone who smokes does so in the knowledge that it is an unhealthy habit, which means that it is an active choice to prioritize pleasure.

If you smoke, it’s entirely up to you, and while it’s bad for your body, you can make your own decisions! But what if your partner really doesn’t like it? Is it worth quitting smoking for them? Like so much else in a relationship, it really depends on a number of factors.

Is smoking breaking the rules?

In romantic situations, there are deal breakers, but there are also those who have not started. Laurel House, an expert on egharmonic relationships, believes that those who do not want to start “are solid and unshakable values ​​that prevent you from starting a relationship. They are individual and based on your own life experiences and needs. For example, they can be related to religion, politics, drugs, alcohol, unpleasant relationships with an ex, negativity or finances. “

If smoking is not a concern for someone, you may not even know it. Many dating apps, such as OKCupid, give you a place on your profile to indicate whether you smoke or not, and if you smoke it is more of a social or common occurrence. On Hinge, users can even filter potential matches based on whether they smoke and avoid profiles of people who smoke. For someone who is vehemently against smoking a partner, this is an easy way to weed out puffing partners – and you, a smoker, won’t get wiser if someone punches you to the left because of your love affair with Newports.

If smoking is more of a rule breaker than it interferes with smoking, you may want to schedule multiple dates for a new partnership before the other person signals to you that they are not a fan of your habit. If this happens, listen to them, don’t defend yourself right away, and consider if this is a good opportunity to make healthier choices.

Think about why they want you to quit smoking

Listening to your partner is very important here. If your habit is not catastrophic enough to force them to end the relationship altogether if you disobey immediately, there is a chance for some lasting dialogue that will help you understand them better and understand yourself better.

One 26-year-old freelance model told Lifehacker that they choose not to date smokers because it makes them smoke – a habit they recently gave up. They mentioned that they don’t rule out the possibility of dating someone who was necessarily involved, but the partner’s “understanding” of their past addiction – and an interest in not being around it – is fundamental to the future of the relationship.

Take some time to understand this. Another person’s dislike for smoking can have many reasons. They may hate the smell or your taste when you kiss them. They may have had a family member who fell ill or even died from a smoking-related illness. They may be worried about your health. These are all perfectly valid problems, but each one is also unique. It is important to listen to them and respect them when they come to you with this problem, even if you end up breaking up because of it.

Should you change yourself for someone else?

Here’s what you need to ask yourself. The reasons your partner doesn’t want you to smoke may be legitimate and come from a good place, but ultimately, what you do with your body, money, and time is up to you.

Changing something in yourself for someone else – even if it seems like a good, healthy change – isn’t always the best idea. As mentioned earlier, this does not mean that you are unaware of the risks of smoking every time you catch fire. You are an adult making your own decisions. Even when these decisions can hurt you, self-determination has value.

Likewise, you should listen to your partner when he explains why he disagrees with your choice, take time to think about your own reasons for smoking and decide if they are worth waiting for someone who will not mind if you light up in the evenings. … Do you smoke because this is something you might have in common with your friends? Are you smoking because you are in a 12-step program of taking another substance, nicotine is one of the few substances allowed in your new routine, and is it keeping you from doing what you think is even more harmful? Do you do this because it feels good to take a short break from work, or because you like the reliability of a habit? Whatever your reason, that is your reason, and while smoking can be a small flaw in the general scheme of things, you have the right to do whatever you want, as long as you are knowledgeable about your choice and it does not harm anyone. more. If you quit smoking for a partner, yes, you will take a positive step towards improving your overall health, but you will also jeopardize some of who you are to the other person. And like smoking, it can be addictive. Do you want to create a precedent before you lose other, even more essential parts of yourself?

Smoking is not the easiest way to compromise. Of course, you can do this away from your partner, but the smell remains. What’s more, doing it from time to time, rather than all the time, it probably won’t really solve their problems, whatever they may be, or completely relieve them of anxiety or annoyance. If you’re not ready or willing to quit smoking, this may be one of those times where you really just need to break up, but make sure you talk it over first, both understand where the other is coming from, and explore all of your options.

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