How to Share Your Dietary Preferences and Restrictions Without Looking Like a Jerk
Not everyone agrees when it comes to food allergies and intolerances, as well as dietary restrictions and preferences, and this is never more evident than during a holiday dinner. While your immediate family may know that you are vegan or lactose intolerant, this does not necessarily apply to your partner’s extended family, friends, or family.
So what are you doing? Refuse food that is likely to cause illness or is contrary to your beliefs? Or have a super awkward conversation in which you could potentially hurt someone’s feelings? Neither one nor the other. In an article for the Huffington Post, Alexandra Emanuely explains how to politely, politely, and (most importantly) effectively communicate your dietary restrictions and preferences to vacation hosts. Here’s what you need to know.
Knowing it’s hard
As guests, we do not want to be a burden to our hosts, which is why we often do our best to minimize conflicts and create additional work for the hosts. We also don’t want to offend anyone. “People often find unwillingness to eat something offensive,” registered nutritionist Abby Langer told the Huffington Post. But, as Emanuely points out, partaking in a festive family meal doesn’t have to mean sacrificing our health or morality.
Bring this as early as possible
All experts Emanuelly interviewed agree that it is best to tell the host about your dietary needs as early as possible. If you can go this route, then go ahead.
But for various reasons, it is not always possible to warn the owner before lunch. In any case, this is a one-on-one conversation, not something that should be discussed in front of a group of people.
Avoid lectures and inquisitions
If this is happening in a group setting – for example, at the dinner table – you can casually mention that you are a vegetarian or vegan without giving an unsolicited lecture about why. At the same time, you should not be faced with the Inquisition and the expectation that you will provide arguments and evidence for your decisions regarding food consumption.
Basic questions (eg, “Can vegans eat honey?”) Are one thing (if you’re ready for it), but they can quickly escalate into what might seem like cross-examination. If something like that starts, politely turn it off. Change the subject, tell people that you’d be happy to discuss what motivated you to go vegan after dinner, or mention a book or article they can read to get more information on an issue, and then move on to the next.
(Note: This part was not in Emanuely’s article, but we thought it might be helpful to add it.)
Get ready to react
When talking about a guest’s dietary restrictions, some hosts will simply thank the person for letting them know and then move on. But not all. “Remember that if a person is offended that you don’t want to eat, it’s about them , not about you,” Langer told the Huffington Post.
Follow these prompts
It’s sometimes hard to find the right words to discuss such a topic, but luckily, Emanuely included in her article a set of tips for these tricky food conversations, courtesy of the experts she interviewed:
- “I just want to let you know that I can’t eat X. Hope it’s okay.”
- “I worked a lot with my doctor and found that eating bread or gluten really bothers my stomach. I’m wondering if there are alternatives this year that we can come up with together? “
- “I’m really looking forward to next month’s gala dinner. I wanted to inform you that I eat vegan cuisine, so we have time to plan everything. I can share some of the recipes to add to the menu or bring food. “
If none of this works, and your cousin is still trying to coax you into eating at least one bite of food that will make you wash up for the rest of the day, (politely) stick to your position. You did everything you could to make this meeting as painless as possible.