Get $ 2,000 to Live in a Pest Infested Home
If you’re looking for a creative way to make some extra money, what might it sound like $ 2,000 a month to do almost nothing? Before you say “heck yes,” here’s the catch: you must already be living in a home with an active pest infestation and allow the infestation to continue without treatment for part of a month’s work.
A unique job offer came from Safer Pest Management , a company dedicated to Reducing Health Risks and Environmental Effects of Pesticides and Promoting Safer Pest Management Alternatives. They are looking for a pest-infested home to “test how the infestation affects their health and well-being.” Therefore, they will regularly check how much it itches and whether you are crazy.
Along with the two greats, the new SPCP employee will also receive professional treatment (presumably not based on pesticides) to rid his home of plague moles, fire wasps, deadly animals, or other parasitic horrors that infect him.
I believe that if you get a job, there is nothing to stop you from hiring Barley Slayer Dale Gribble, killing them with chemicals when your job is done, if alternative extermination is not effective.
However, in order to get a job, it is not enough for you to just be an infested colony of bed bugs. You must apply and the ideal candidate must be fluent in English, have Internet access, and have good written and oral communication skills. It is advisable to have a master’s degree or higher (ok, I came up with the last one).
Can you imagine how you would feel if you applied for this job and did not get it ? It’s like they passed you off as someone with the best writing skills despite the giant ant colony that lives on your coffee table?
All of this made me wonder which pests listed in the company’s helpful Pest Guide would be worth living with for two weeks in exchange for $ 2,000.
Ants : Depends on the type of ant. Cute, how are Antz’s ? Yes. Stinging fire ants? No.
Cockroaches : Oh, please. Cockroaches are nothing. Bring me $ 2,000.
Bed bugs : There is no money worth a bed bug infestation . Except for $ 10 million.
Spiders : Spiders kill other insects and keep themselves apart, so I take it easy with them. Yes.
Termites : My landlord’s problem, not mine. So yes.
Ticks : No. Ticks are not good at all.
Raccoons : I would pay $ 2,000 to have little natural thugs living in my house. Delightful! I prefer not to worry about rabies.
Chiggers : Oh my god. Chiggers are too small to see and they bite. No.
Vampire Moth : These little guys can bite through thick animal skins to drink blood. They are living proof that nature is bad and that you need to get rid of it immediately. No.