I’m Not Sure Who Flamin ‘Hot Mountain Dew Is For
Since childhood, I have been drinking Diet Coke. In addition to the stomach-soothing ginger beer or Dr. Pepper (my special occasion diet soda) Diet Coke is the only soda I drink regularly. (And by “regularity” I mean “at least three a day, even if they give me a headache.”)
I went to this tasting knowing that I was unlikely to be the target audience for Mountain Dew’s new offering, Flamin ‘Hot Mountain Dew. To be honest, I can’t remember the last time I took Dew – Original, Diet, or Baja Blast – but I know I don’t find the original taste offensive.
However, this Flamin scent seems to hold the promise of an insult. A small anthropomorphic flame taunts the consumer, forcing him to take a wild, spicy sip; the jar is brightly colored, all in bright yellow and orange tones; the soda itself has an intense, almost fluorescent hue.
It’s a lot of hype, a lot of marketing, and a lot of empty promises. On the day of the taste test, I struggled with a fairly severe bout of seasonal allergies and hoped that the spicy drink would relieve me. My hopes were in vain.
Unlike Flamin ‘Hot Cheetos or Flamin’ Hot Doritos, I haven’t gotten a lot of warmth from this orange soda. My Gizmodo colleague Tom McKay (who didn’t have a stuffy nose) was similarly disappointed, so we tried adding booze (mezcal for Tom and vodka for me) to see if a little highball situation would improve. (I will not spoil the result of that particular experiment.)
Flamin ‘Hot Mountain Dew is deeply cynical. These can be empty promises, without a real point of view and almost completely devoid of warmth. It’s not disgusting, but aggressively mediocre and seems to only exist for people to try it out of curiosity. If you’re a Dew fan, you can skip this one. (Maybe the new apple flavor will be better.)