How to Survive at a Party When You Don’t Know Anyone
You know the feeling. You have been invited somewhere. Somewhere fun, where there will be food and delicious drinks, potential acquaintances and a promise not to stare at the walls of your home for another couple of hours. But the only person you are guaranteed to know is the host, who will be busy performing and usually fluttering.
What to do? You don’t want to look like a loser in the corner, but after we shut ourselves in, brew the sourdough, talked to our plants for a year and half the isolation we just went through, you know it’s going to be good to get out. To link the IRL to a living being that is not your dog. So how do you survive and even enjoy this meeting you are attending alone? Let’s count the paths.
We offer help to the owner
If you’re volunteering to help organize a pre-party or hand out snacks, this is an ingenious move. You are not only helping someone else, but your good deed serves your purposes. It gives you something to do instead of messing around. Rustytrout also notes on LifeProTips on Reddit that this is social proof that you are close to a party-goer. “If you are seen setting you up, you are seen as closer to the owner, and this immediately makes a strong first impression (provided that those present have a positive attitude towards the owner).” If you also do not want to get carried away with cleaning, indicate that you need to leave by a certain time.
Arrive early
Forget about fashionable delays. Have you experienced the wonders of timing? Not only do you get extra time with the host (who is supposedly your friend), but you can also meet people individually when they first enter, rather than later, when less accessible groups have formed. Another plus is the ability to talk without the need to shout through the deafening noise of dozens of people out of breath with booze. (Although, if this is your scene, then yes.) Bonus? No embarrassing guilt if you want to release bail early and return to your sweet, sweet bed for a good night’s sleep.
Bring the skill
Do you have a hobby or skill to share? Can you help prepare trendy drinks or act as an amateur sommelier? HouseTonyStark noted on Reddit that as a cocktail drinker, he once brought “a bunch of cocktail shit” to a party to prepare drinks for others. Even though he said it sounded a little odd at first, “it made me focus on making these drinks (of which I am confident) rather than worrying about whether I was saying or doing the right thing.” And everyone thought he was “some fantastic cocktail dude.” Victory.
Prepare some conversations
It is helpful to have a few questions or hot topics in mind that you can discuss when you feel a lull in the conversation. Super simple things like: How to recognize the owner? Is this appetizer good? Have you seen the new Marvel movie? or I’m looking for some new podcasts, do you have any favorites? all good entry points. And yes, at first it will be silly and strained … But once the conversation begins, you will not remember or care about how it started.
Avoid hot topics that can spark controversy, such as politics or religion. And keep in mind that the question is: How do you make your living? some may be alienated. When in doubt, pretend you already know the person. You look so familiar, have we met before?
Compliment
Who doesn’t love compliments? It is a pleasant surprise that makes us feel recognized. Saying things like I love this jacket. Mind if I ask where you got this? or What a cool baby name! How did you come to this? will bring you silent social capital.
Get rid of the negativity
Remember, everyone almost always thinks of themselves. Do you hear me? There is no spotlight on you (unless your hair lights up when you laugh and tilt your head back into the candle). Seriously, no one looks or notices you nearly as much as you think. Let go of self-awareness, negative self-talk, and feeling like a stranger. You were invited, remember? This means that the facilitator considers you to be a good addition to the meeting.
Adjust your expectations
This may not be the best night of your life, or the night that you meet your future spouse (although that might just say). But what if you went with the intention of meeting, say, three new people – or just one fun or meaningful conversation? Seems much more achievable, doesn’t it?
Finally, be proud of yourself. Interacting with strangers is an important and sometimes intimidating life skill. If you step outside your comfort zone and do something that feels uncomfortable, support yourself in trying.