How to Use the Golden Silence Technique to Win Negotiations
I once participated in a sales call and at a crucial moment the senior salesperson asked the customer if our service was appropriate for their needs. There was only silence on the other end of the line. Oh, not Mississippi. Two Mississippi. Three Mississippi. Nothing. Maybe the client didn’t hear the question? Four Mississippi. Five Mississippi.
Feeling that I could intervene, the salesman raised his hand to stop me. Finally the client responded. I just experienced my first golden silence — a sales technique that was used to drive a conversation toward resolution. Here’s a look at how it works and how to determine when it is being used on you.
How Golden Silence Works
Golden Silence is a sales concept developed by Miller Heiman , a sales training company. In practice, this is quite simple: after you have asked a question, wait at least four seconds for an answer (or more, depending on the situation). It is “golden” because, as the company says, proper silence “will greatly improve the quality and quantity of information the salesperson receives.”
Why could this be? People find pauses in conversation so uncomfortable that they can be subtly advised to break the silence. Research has shown that this phenomenon is especially acute for native English speakers, as they begin to feel anxiety after about four seconds of silence ( twice as long for Japanese speakers). In addition, reaching out to the salesperson is actually about understanding the customer’s needs, which does not happen when the salesperson says everything. A well-crafted conversation can ensure that the client is truly heard. This is similar to the old adage: “Slow down and get there faster.”
How golden silence can help you negotiate
A well-established silence isn’t just for trade calls, it can be useful in almost any situation that requires negotiation. Since it is difficult to read people’s minds, silence during negotiations can signal the strength of a position, a willingness to abandon negotiations if you get your way. In addition, without speaking, the other side may rush to fill the void by saying things that are not fully thought out, perhaps even jeopardizing their position. The BBC has a good example of how this can work:
Katie Donovan adheres to the saying, “Whoever speaks first loses.” Early in her career, the founder of the American consulting company Equal Pay Negotiations was interviewed for a job in sales and she was immediately offered it. When the interviewer called the paycheck, she said she would return to him next week, and then sat down quietly. He made an offer. She repeated her tactics. Finally, he made the third offer 20% more than the first. She agreed.
Don’t overuse golden silence
Golden Silence is a bit like a one-trick pony. When it works well, it can either reinforce your position or spark discussion, but if overused, it can annoy and manipulate the other party, especially if they are aware of the tactic. Instead of thinking of silence as a trick that “wins” the conversation, think of it as a way to communicate more effectively, especially if you are an undisciplined speaker who loses ground by talking too much.