How to Maintain a Relationship When You Are Working All the Time

Not so that all “we live in society” on you, but modern American culture promotes two main goals: get married and get money … a lot of money. From there, you can move on to secondary, related goals like having kids or buying a house. And while a successful career can buy you this beautiful home, help you afford those kids, and bring you many other things you probably want, how can you have both a successful career and a healthy relationship when you work all the time? fucking time?

Enable DND IRL

The first piece of advice is important both in your romantic relationship and in your life in general: when you are not on time, not on time. Don’t send work emails at dinner. Don’t even check your work email after leaving work, unless an emergency arises.

It’s natural to want to please your boss, but remember that you are a human being, not just a cog in a car. If the company doesn’t send someone to your funeral or picks up your sick child from school, why should you give them your own time?

Be attentive at work, demonstrate your skills, but also don’t be afraid to set boundaries and make it clear that you are not connected 24/7. When you are with your significant other, try to be present with her.

Of course, this may not work if you are a business owner. If so, you still need to make sure you schedule time for yourself and your love. You cannot succeed as a leader if you are constantly being rubbed and hungry for love. Make a schedule and stick to it.

Work hard, play hard together

Your partner should be just that: a partner. Ideally, they support your work and you support them. Ask them if they’d like to help with your work, whether it’s collecting take-out papers on Saturday afternoons or proofreading a busy email to a large client. If they feel more involved in your work, they are less likely to view it as an obstacle to communicating and spending time with you – and less likely to resent it.

No, you probably can’t bring your soul mate to a real office all the time, but find ways to make them feel like a part of who you are professionally, if that’s not weird in your culture. … For example, take them with you to corporate parties and walks. When you get home, tell them about your day at work and ask about them. Work doesn’t have to be a big cryptic barrier between the two of you.

Plan vacation and work at home days together for your work, and spend that time eating your favorite foods and having fun. Both of you work hard! When you’re away, spending your hard-earned money on vacation or even a movie can help express your gratitude for having your job let you enjoy those moments. Together, try to associate work not with grueling hours, micromanaging bosses, or parting ways, but with the fun time your paycheck provides. Feeling involved in each other’s work life and creating a healthier relationship with that work life will help you grow together.

Communicate no matter what

If your job does not require a strict attitude to the phone, write a message to your loved one. Damn it, do it in the bathroom. Call at lunchtime. Suddenly send flowers to their office. You may be stressed or very busy, but try not to be free of lovers from nine to five. This segmentation of life will drive you crazy and make you feel neglected. Plus, they probably would like to hear from you during their work day, too.

Jarrod Thorson, an in-house warehouse manager who works at a friend’s pizzeria at night, said that when it comes to keeping a strong marriage despite a busy schedule, he recommends “talk and make a plan.”

His wife, he said, works full-time in the office and part-time in retail, and with their four jobs, two children and assorted dogs, cats and farm animals, it can be difficult to find time to develop relationships. …

“My wife gets stressed when something gets out of her control, so I make a plan ahead of time to avoid a lot of irritating conversations,” he said. “Make sure you have time to connect. Quick phone calls or text messages throughout the day will help. Her love language is an act of service, so making her coffee in the morning or letting the animals out so she can sleep for a few more minutes can start the day on a good note. She will leave me random notes with jokes or words that she loves me. Little things matter a lot. “

Admit it when you don’t get it right

Even if you want to be a totally committed employee, partner, parent, friend, and everyone else, your work will always get in the way at some point. This is how it works in the capitalist USA A. You can schedule the perfect picnic with your boo, and on the same Saturday you will be called to the office. Sometimes, you can also let the stress at work take over and forget to text or otherwise support your half of the partnership.

When that happens, admit it. Say you’re sorry, and seriously. Your partner probably understands; they work too. However, you must apologize to them.

“Don’t let things fester,” Thorson said. “I’m sorry if you were the asshole on the phone. Think about each other. Tell them when you are. Listen to each other. “

He indicated that when his wife is stressed or upset, he will either give her time to find out the reason, or “call her and try to figure it out,” so they can move on and enjoy their work. -free time they get together. Always solve problems head-on, because at least 40 hours a week you do not have such an opportunity. “Of course we are busy, but I would rather have no one else to do,” he said. This is the goal.