Save Your Kids From the Overschedule Trap When You Send Them Back to School
As our kids prepare to return to school, we will likely have a desire to catch up, whether it be school, intramural sports, student clubs, or any other milestones our kids missed out on during the pandemic.
However, before we start enrolling our children in everything , it is important to remember that the past 18 months have been very difficult for them, and moderation is required, especially during the first few months of school. Many of our children will adjust to just being in class again on a full-time basis, while still living with uncertainty about what the threat of options might mean for the school year.
“Going back to school this year isn’t just about increasing flexibility for your family and your child,” said Bob Cunningham, senior advisor and co-founding expert on learning and thinking differences for Understanding , a nonprofit that provides resources. and a guide for families with children who think and learn differently. Try not to overdo it in the first few months.
Make the transition as gradual as possible
Returning to school full-time is likely to be a drastic change for your child, and the fact that teachers will be under intense pressure to make up for lost year makes it even worse. Simultaneous changes are guaranteed to be stressful for both children and parents.
This is why it is important to gradually ease the way children learn in school to reduce the shock of returning. To get your child to get used to the regular schedule again (or for the first time), it is best to start adjusting his eating and sleeping habits a few weeks before a month from starting school, so that he completely switches to before the lesson begins. To soften the transition, it’s a good idea to continue some of the summer’s patterns and activities into the school year, whether that means a little more unstructured playtime after school or a more relaxed schedule on the weekends.
Don’t stress your kids too much.
As parents, it is important that we do not create additional stress for our children, be it in the form of academic expectations or suggestions for extracurricular activities, as they will have to deal with enough things anyway.
“I am much more concerned about stress and anxiety levels in adults than in children,” Cunningham said. “Children are resilient, but children are very sensitive to the stress of the adults around them. If you are confused, if you are anxious, if you panic and pull lever after lever, making change after change, your child will react negatively. ”
There will probably be some difficulty with the homework at the beginning, which is normal given the circumstances. The good news is that your kids will get used to their previous schedule and workload, although this may take a while.
And if you notice that your child does not like a particular extracurricular activity, even if he once did, you can let him decide for himself if they want to continue.
“Parents need to verbally support their children when they provide compelling reasons for quitting certain activities,” said Jamie Bennett, aThriveworks licensed clinical social worker. “It is worth giving them the freedom to act as to which activities to support and which to refuse.”
The structure is good for children
Generally speaking, kids are good at structure. At more regular times, structure is one of the benefits of extracurricular activities, which gives our children the opportunity to interact with their peers outside of school, and also allows them to develop additional skills and interests.
In the right amount, these activities can help your child build self-esteem and understand who they are and what they like. But given all the setbacks of the past year, teaching your child the structure of full-time school should be their own priority. Instead of being at home all day, they will be in class with other students, with a different schedule, set of expectations and social pressures. It is possible that piling up leisure after school will do more harm than good.
Refrain from renewing the full schedule now
The first few months are likely to be more stressful than usual, so instead of forcing your child to immediately return to all of their normal extracurricular activities, it is a good idea to refrain from resuming their previous schedule for at least the first few months.
Initially, you will want to make sure your child’s schedule has some flexibility so that if they need a little more time to do their homework or are struggling with a certain aspect of returning to school, they will have time to get used to it.
If your child has a learning disability such as dyslexia or ADHD, you should also talk to the teacher about their specific personal learning adaptations. Try to keep track of their workload, as teachers will be under enormous pressure to get carried away and this can quickly become overwhelming.
“If your usual impulse is to get your child involved in as many activities as possible so that they can jump into action right away, it might be worth dropping it this year,” Cunningham said.
Signs that your child is over-stretched
Frustration is a normal emotion, especially when your child is adjusting to school. However, if you notice that your child is withdrawn, shows a lack of interest in their usual activities, or begins to show some harsh self-criticism, all this indicates that your child is struggling and needs additional support.
“Parents need to maintain open lines of communication with their children,” Bennett said. “Otherwise, children may feel a tendency to suppress their sincere feelings, which can manifest itself in harmful forms of coping.”