How to Date Someone Who Is Not in Your League

Hey, is your phone just ringing? It was like a match. Congratulations! But what is it? Is the match someone super cool that you whisked away in the belief that it would never flicker back?

It’s all fun and games where you maniacally swipe your finger late at night endorsing every tough person that appears on screen, but it gets even more serious when you remember that they are real people who can – and just can – please you. in reply . It’s a blessing and curse to date someone who is stunningly handsome or has a super cool job. On the one hand, this is a dream come true … but on the other hand, it can be a humiliating reminder of your own insecurity. Here’s how to prepare for a date with someone you think is not in your league.

Know how to cheer yourself up

The key point here is that you have to remember that they swiped to the right or agreed to go on this date because they saw something worthwhile in you . That alone should make you feel great, no matter what about the other person is making you so nervous.

“If someone’s out on a date and they’re not a ghost of you, they probably don’t think there is a league problem,” said Hannah Mae , a 26-year-old Chicago woman who describes herself as a blogger and lifestyle lover. … dater.

“Remember you have a lot to offer,” she said. “You need to focus on yourself and work on yourself before dating, menstruation, otherwise you won’t get anything out of it.”

Print a list of all the interesting and wonderful things about yourself. Ask a few trusted friends to contribute to what we believe is already a long list of your amazing qualities. Read this list. Learn this. You’re fun! You are attractive! This is what people outside your league thought when they agreed to meet, so ask yourself why you feel insecure.

If an uncomfortable internal monologue is the result of, say, humiliation from your ex, remember that the abuse came from the place of the hurt, or maybe even from a projection, probably at a difficult time when the relationship was falling apart. Don’t let the negative, distorted opinion of someone whose connection with you has been negative affect the way you see and predict yourself in the future. You are much cooler than you think and deserve to date someone awesome.

RPG from the best vantage point

What would you say to a friend in this situation? Imagine that a loved one, a longtime friend of yours, comes to you and says that he is nervous about dating someone hotter or more authoritative than they are. You would run away, right? You would – be careful – tore them to pieces for being so cruel to themselves.

We all have people who love us, from family members to friends. Think how painful it would be for your mom or brother to hear you negatively compare yourself to someone else. When you do this, you are implying that your friends and loved ones have bad taste. And they don’t!

Offer to meet in neutral territory

If this person is very popular in the film industry, do not go to the hot spots in Hollywood. If they are in publishing, don’t go to the bookstore. If you feel like they have a heavy body, avoid the beach. Basically, don’t go somewhere that will exacerbate the feelings of inferiority you already feel, and help them even if they don’t realize that you perceive them as an advantage over you. Instead, suggest a place to date that is more neutral and doesn’t stand out in what you see in them as an incredible attribute that makes you so nervous.

Try to be reasonable

Have you ever seen the cover of a tabloid? If you have – and we know you do – then you know that even the hottest and most experienced people in the world go through breakups. Ask yourself why this could be. Is it possible that being attractive or talented isn’t the only thing that matters in a relationship?

You already know that looks, awards, praise, and influence take people far, but in order for someone to have a fulfilling relationship, they also need to have essence.

Think about this: There is more to the person you are going to meet than his angelic bone or high-paying job. What’s more, whatever is in them may actually suck. Simply put, you might not have them. If they were as perfect as you imagine them to be, wouldn’t some equally freaky person grabbed them by now?

May pointed to the advice her cousin gave her: “Instead of worrying about whether they like you, worry about whether you like them. This shift in thinking also helps to cope with nervousness or anxiety. “

Don’t fix too much here or go into a date thinking it’s a damaged item or something like that, but be reasonable. A hot body is not a perfect helper.

Acknowledge your insecurity without pointing it out to the other person

Look, you’re nervous and insecure. This is fine; It happens to everyone. But don’t shake off feelings of inferiority on this person, who is probably perfectly normal and good and probably has no idea that you think he is occupying some unattainable level of greatness. As we have established, they agreed to chat with you for a reason. They think you are interesting and attractive. It’s almost certainly not a rom-com joke when they go out on a date with you out of pity, but even if it did, it would be further proof that they suck and are not for you.

“I’ve spent so much time in my life over-thinking about lyrics and what to say, and I feel like these situations never go out of order,” said May, who advises not to worry too much. “If someone is behind you, you don’t have to think too long about your interaction or be confused.”

Don’t get defensive and don’t expect the worst. Try to be strict with yourself, go on a date, find out if you have anything in common, and act in the same way as you would with anyone else. Whatever freezes you have, they are completely yours; this person is unaware that you think you are ugly or that you do not feel like you are moving up the career ladder. They just want to know about you, so let them. Let them and yourself be surprised.