What to Do If You See Your Ex on a Date

It’s officially a lewd summer after the vaccines , which means people are on the street . Everyone goes on dates and has fun, including your ex. (Sorry!) But what if you run into them? Well, here’s what you should do.

First, don’t panic when you see your ex on a date.

It sucks to see your ex with someone new . This is true, especially if they look like they are having a good time. How, really? How dare they step away from you and do it publicly? Well, they dared. And honestly, they have the right to go out and be happy. It can be painful, especially if the two of you stop hanging out and having fun at the end of the relationship.

If you see your ex frolicking and enjoying the company of a new partner, try to remember that this is normal. Take a few deep breaths and assess the situation. Did they see you? Is it too late to look away and walk away? If they saw you and it’s too late, stay calm.

“I immediately looked away from my ex and his date so as not to look them in the eye. I tried to snuggle up to my date as we walked by, but I’m sure he noticed me, “recalls 26-year-old Lucy B., who saw an ex she once considered” [her] love. ” life ”, when he was having dinner outdoors with a new woman, and she herself was on a date with a new boyfriend. “I’m not a nail bite so it was interesting that my first impulse was to bite my thumbnail, which caught my boyfriend’s attention. I lost and lied – but it was definitely a panic knee jerk reaction. “

Do not do this. In this situation, no one is wrong. You’re allowed to be out, and so is your ex. You broke up for a reason. Remember. Don’t romanticize a relationship or allow yourself to feel jealous or lonely just because you see them enjoying time with someone new.

If you can find humor in it.

“If you cared about them, be nice and kind. If you end up in a good relationship, then be polite. Maybe send them a drink and their new date or say hello depending on the environment, “suggested Brent K., a 33-year-old Salt Lake City resident who has run into exes many times, but especially when he saw his ex. bride with her former best friend.

When Brent was dating a new woman, the duo saw her ex date someone new. He followed his own advice and sent a glass of drinks.

Alexis Marika, a 29-year-old New Yorker, agreed that it would be nice to find humor in the situation, and said she “laughed at it” when she saw the former affair when she was at the opera.

“There is a high probability that you will run into someone in the city. I always try to be bigger and either ignore it or just accept it, ”she said.

Try your best not to get petty

Resist the urge to make a scene, even if the relationship ended badly.

“Ultimately, how you handle the situation will leave a lasting impression on them,” Brent said. “Do you want them to miss you and remember you for what a good person you were, or do you want them to be happy that it’s over? If you choose kindness and caring, you will contribute to a better world. Remember, just because your relationship is over doesn’t mean both of you don’t deserve to be happy. “

Marika noted that some of her former meetings happened while she was working as a waiter. One day the same ex she saw at the opera came into her restaurant and she asked a colleague to serve him, fearing that he would make a scene.

“I also served another ex while he was out on a date,” she said. “I was an ordinary person and he never looked me in the eye. To be honest, I was confused, as if he sincerely thought I was going to have a restaurant scene in three years. But yes, I think he just wanted to pretend that I don’t exist. “

Pretending that the other person doesn’t exist is good advice if you feel you are starting to be cocky or confrontational, and avoid contact altogether. Marika had a great approach when she assigned another waiter to manage her first ex’s table, and her second ex took an equally great approach when he ignored her. Do whatever works for you to keep the situation calm.

But calm down as soon as possible.

Listen with humor, being friendly, or feigning amnesia won’t get you very far. In some cases, depending on how your relationship has turned out and how much you are still in pain, you may not be able to shrug off meeting your ex on a date.

You are allowed to leave. You don’t have to prove anything to yourself or your ex by staying in a situation that upsets you or makes you uncomfortable.

“Do what I did: get the hell out of there!” said Andy Jenkins, a 25-year-old graduate student from Dallas, who once saw her ex-boyfriend walk into the bar she was in. He was holding hands with another woman.

She continued, “By no means make yourself feel awkward – and possibly painful – to see your ex with someone else. This was an ex that I broke up with and it was still difficult to see them and there just isn’t much to learn from watching them on a date, at least most of the time. My best advice is to literally do an army crawl if necessary and roll out of there with your barrel. Take the pain away from yourself! “

“If it didn’t end with a good relationship, ignore it. If you can’t do that, just walk away, ”added Brent, the real voice of reason.

When it comes to dating, your ex has already proven that there are many other fish in the sea. You can prove that there are many other bars or restaurants to go to when it comes to places where there were no free places before. Remember to put yourself and your well-being first. And when you get to the next bar, perhaps order a strong drink.