Here Are Some Dad’s Jokes

A dad’s joke is worth appreciating any day of the year, but as Father’s Day approaches, it’s especially important to pay tribute to this particular genre of “humor.” If you can call it that.

What is a fatherly joke?

The father’s joke (capitalized out of respect) is defined by Merriam-Webster as “a useful joke of the type said to be told by fathers with a twist that is often obvious or predictable pun or pun and is generally considered cute. trite or unfunny. “

(When does a joke become Dad’s joke? When does it become obvious.)

In other words, if it’s incredibly stupid and makes you half-asleep, half-smiling, it’s Dad’s joke. Of course, anyone can tell their father a joke, but the zest is best pronounced by a half-century middle-aged father.

(It is inappropriate to make a “dad joke” if you are not dad. This is fake.)

What are your favorite anecdote fathers?

In honor of all of our beloved dads, on Father’s Day, I’ve put together a collection of the best (worst?) Dad’s anecdotes I could find for you. Feel free to destroy any of them during the Sunday backyard BBQ.

• Why are elevator jokes so good? They work on so many levels.
• Why was the guy fired from the orange juice plant? He couldn’t concentrate.
• Have you heard of the blown up cheese dairy? Brie was everywhere.
• Why do ophthalmologists live so long? They are expanding.
• Why were 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9.
• How to steal someone’s coat? You are a jacket.
• I was wondering why this frisbee was getting bigger and bigger. Then it dawned on me.
• Once I went to the zoo, but there was only one dog. It was a Shih Tzu.
• What do you call the alligator in the vest? Investigator.
• What do you call fake noodles? Impasta.
• The police have just arrested the patter world champion. They say he will be harshly sentenced.
• Why are there two doors in the chicken coop? Because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan.
• What did the left eye say to the right? Something smells between you and me.
• What do you say to the child you meet on Rodeo Drive? Gucci, Gucci, Gucci.
• Many people think Brother Thor is energetic, but I found him reserved.
• How much do roofs cost? Nothing. They are in the house.
• What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? Cannot be opened.
• Why can’t you hear the pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because “P” is silent.
• What do you call a group of bunnies walking backwards? Decreasing hare line.
• What do frogs wear on their paws in summer? Open toad sandals
• Where are all your dad’s jokes kept? According to the paternal base.
• Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? They have a funny taste.
• Where has the general deployed his armies? In his sleeves.
• What’s brown and sticky? Stick!
• What did the buffalo father say to the buffalo boy when he went to school? “Buffalo”.

And finally, here’s my father’s original anecdote – which you probably haven’t heard before – courtesy of a parent’s husband on our Offspring Facebook group :

Where are the hottest peppers celebrated? Hall-of-peños.

(Samantha says her husband was very proud to have come up with this, and we can certainly understand why.)

I know you love your dad’s joke that isn’t on this list, and I know it is killing you. Come on, add in the comments; there are not too many dad’s jokes (yes, there are).

This post was originally published in 2020 and was updated on June 17, 2021 to reflect the current context (and other dad’s jokes).