How to Argue With a Manager Without Risking Work
When your career is just starting – or even if you have some experience behind you – it can be difficult to speak up when you disagree with the manager. Your boss’s authority is impeccable, as you might think, so even if his directions are unclear or you’re struggling to deal with their unreadable emails , voicing concerns about a project or action plan can be tricky.
There is, of course, a difference between asking for help or needing a little explanation and discussing a potential outright disagreement with your boss. But if you feel like you need to voice your concerns about a work issue, there are ways to do so to avoid the risk of being called insubordination or causing an unnecessary gap between you and your manager.
How to disagree with your boss
To be clear, this is not about doubting your manager or arguing for the sake of arguing; you need to drop the bar high to merit a formal discussion with your boss. And before you do anything, one of the most important things you can do is understand how they prefer to communicate. Is this the one who prefers personal communication? Then make a time to speak with them in private. Do they prefer written communication? Please describe the problem in detail in the email. “Once you understand what drives your manager, you can adjust your approach, results, and communication to match what your boss really wants you to do,” advised AssetLab founder and CEO Jeffrey Kelly, Inside Higher Ed. in 2017.
Regardless of which mode of communication they prefer, you should always look forward to setting aside a specific time to discuss the matter. An honest warning will prepare your boss for a conversation that might otherwise turn him off.
Once you really get into this conversation, consider leading any uncomfortable topics with compliments. Dan Shobel, managing partner at HR consulting firm Workplace Intelligence , tells Lifehacker that you should “always start on a positive note, showing off or telling a success story before [making any criticism].”
It is also better not to blame what you are raising. Blaming others is an undesirable quality for any employee, and it will not make you sympathetic to any boss, even if the problem in question does not really belong to you. Instead, take full responsibility for not understanding the issue or issue. You can formulate phrases such as “I do not understand something and would like to explain” or “It would help me a lot if I could explain it again.”
Taking responsibility for the help you need or for your own role in the processes you face – no matter where the gaps may arise – will help the communication go smoother. One way to do this is to prioritize self-statements. This is a tactic that you are most likely to hear about when counseling a couple, but the same strategy applies: you want to shift the burden onto the speaker (that is, you) rather than the person being spoken to. Saying “I need help with x” or “I felt we might think about it in the same way” shows your boss that you are not necessarily against his views, but are only looking for clarification for your own needs.
Only in extreme cases, when you cannot find common ground with your boss or are asked to do something that violates your own code of ethics, can you quit your job because of disagreement. If you solve your problems in such non-confrontational ways, hopefully you will feel heard and the problem can be resolved long before it comes to that.