Use These Positive Parenting Phrases to Avoid Conflicts With Your Children.
Earlier this week, we talked about how to be a more loving parenting , which sounds cute and sweet, but can be difficult to handle when you’re feeling exhausted after a long day with crying kids. As with any attempt to change our behavior, if we can create new routines or habits that can help us get on autopilot during these difficult times – and one mom on TikTok teaches us how to do this, one short video at a time. …
A member of our Facebook community Offspring introduced me to Destiny Ann’s series of positive parenting videos , and I watched one by one, absorbing her wisdom and overall positive energy. But in particular, I liked the four “episodes” she did to highlight simple phrases or mantras that we can use with our children to set boundaries and get them to agree and empathize with their feelings.
“Any feeling is acceptable; every behavior is not. “
In this video, Destiny Ann reminds us that our kids are allowed to be angry. And they may be angry with us (after all, we are angry with them ). They can feel what they are feeling, but that doesn’t mean they can throw toys or use disrespectful words. You can validate their feelings and teach them that their behavior is not good.
“Respect my no”
Destiny Ann explains in this episode that there aren’t many arbitrary rules in her home, but there are three non-negotiable areas: kindness, safety, and hygiene. And when one of her children pushes one of the three away, she models how she empathizes with their feelings, and also says that this is the moment when they need to “respect her no.”
“Is this a compromise?”
In this video, she talks about how when we say yes to something, we often say no to something else. For example, if they want to go to the playground, this may mean they have less time to play together at home before dinner. So when we know that ” yes” now will lead to ” no” later, we can ask our children if they want to “trade” these things by teaching them how to take responsibility for planning their time. Like this :
“Are you open?”
I especially love this because it is a tactic that will come in handy for many adults when dealing not only with children, but also with friends and family. When your child tells you about a difficult moment at school or gives you an opinion about a situation with a friend, ask him, “Are you open?” – meaning, are you open to my opinion, my feedback or my advice?
“It does two things,” says Destiny Ann. First, it encourages them to be more receptive to your thoughts because you showed respect for them by asking if they want to hear them at all. Secondly, it gives them the opportunity to say no, because it may be more of a moment when they just need to give someone a way out.
Deliberately using these positive phrases in our daily interactions with children can help de-escalate recurring conflicts or help us avoid them altogether.