Difference Between Polyamory, Swing and Open Relationships
Most prefer the friendliness and comfort of monogamy, but there are sexy adventurers of all stripes among us. Just think, while you are bargaining with your partner over the electricity bill or Venmo’s the same $ 30 round trip to pay for weekly groceries, there are couples who go from partner to partner, live in a committed group, or interact. in other alternative sexual and romantic lifestyles that are contrary to tradition.
But what’s the difference between polyamory, swinger, and open relationships? Are there different rules in each of these looser approaches to romance and intimacy?
What is polyamorous relationships?
Popular concepts of polyamory tend to combine it with sexual promiscuity. This is fundamentally wrong, since polyamory is actually communication by mutual agreement, albeit with several partners at the same time. And this is not at all like polygamy – the practice of having multiple wives, which is sometimes practiced by representatives of the fundamentalist sect.
Psychologist Elizabeth A. Scheff defined polyamory for Psychology Today in 2018 as follows:
Polyamory is a form of consensual non-monogamy (CNM) with an emotionally intimate relationship between multiple people who can also be sexual and / or romantic partners.
This term is followed by many misconceptions, the main one of which is that it is nothing more than evidence of the practitioner’s hedonism. However, according to board-certified sex therapist Janet Brito, people in polyamorous relationships can indeed be very attached to each other, and their connections are rooted in hard (and sometimes even hard) rules governing what is and is not in relationships between partners ( With).
The entire venture operates under “shared agreements on sex and relationships” between polyamorous people, Sheff wrote in a 2019 article for Healthline . “Polyamory is defined as the practice or openness to intimate relationships with more than one person,” she said. “Dating as a polyamorous person means you’re not looking for just one person to share a romantic or sexual relationship with.”
Obviously, this dynamic requires a lot of trust, communication and agreement between all parties. If jealousy begins to emerge, which is understandable to most people, it probably undermines the trust necessary for such a mechanism to function, which is why experienced polyamorous people in successful relationships become great at communicating what they want and need from everyone involved.
What is an open relationship?
Open relationships are slightly different in that the term is usually applied strictly to sexual desires. As writer Valerie Fischel explained to Self in 2018, an open relationship is another form of non-monogamous consensual relationship, and it varies from couple to couple.
The philosophy behind open relationships stems, at least in part, from the belief that monogamy is useless as a lifelong pursuit. An open relationship makes some people feel free, but not burdened with expectations that can make their sex life obsolete in the long run, and are more able to bond with their primary partner. Again, like those who engage in polyamory, people in open relationships must prioritize trust and communication in order for the relationship to be successful, or at least to exist without the threat of lies and deception.
Typically, open relationships also function according to strict rules, and they differ across the board depending on the preferences of the participants. For example, a couple may be in an open relationship in which only one of them actually explores intimacy with a third person; while the other partner remains in the loop and accepts, the term still applies. In her article, Fischel described the relationships of several of her friends, all of whom are in an open relationship or married:
One married couple that I am friends with has a couple of girlfriends and they also have partners of their own (she has both male and female partners and he has female partners). I have a good friend who lives separately from her boyfriend; she has several regular male and female lovers while he travels the world, finding spontaneous sexual encounters along the way.
While all sexual exploits inevitably change, the good news is that people in these relationships tend to choose paths that suit their sexual needs.
What is swinging?
Swing usually means that a monogamous couple is looking for a sexual partner together who is not involved in their relationship. As Amy Moores, a sex researcher at Chapman University, told Insider in 2019 , there are several manifestations of swing, such as when a couple has a threesome with someone outside of a relationship, or when two or more couples decide to swap partners for a sexual experience. …
Swing itself can be a lifestyle. In fact, this is what many of his adherents call it: sex expert Jess O’Reilly told Ask Men that the term “swing” is somewhat outdated, and his more dedicated practitioners now like to call it “lifestyle.” “While it definitely borrows some aspects from open relationships, swing is purely transactional and, as a result, naturally thrives in its own communities.
“Swingers are generally heterosexual couples and people with various forms of ‘swapping’ or exchanging partners,” family therapist Courtney Geter told the site.
While all of these categories of relationships are influenced by the preferences of the participants, they all share one unshakable overarching theme: trust. It is imperative to show respect and gain the consent of all participants in any relationship, no matter how many are involved.