Let’s Stop Calling Kids Stubborn, Even If They Are.
It is difficult to bring up strong-willed children. They can turn even the simplest and most mundane situation into a battle of will. They don’t just want to be right; they know they are right. They hate to be told what to do all the time, so they will challenge you at every turn, and the more obedience you demand, the more they hit your heels. Of course they are stubborn, but we shouldn’t call them that.
It’s easy to see the negative in a child’s stubbornness. After all, it complicates your daily life when you are fought at every turn. But the very traits that make them strong-willed in childhood (in particular the intrinsic motivation and intrinsic wisdom they rely on so heavily) are also traits that make them into adolescents and adults who will value honesty and avoid pressure from the outside. peers – if we don’t. by that time they had not broken their will. These children become leaders.
Psychologist and writer Dr. Laura Markham writes for Aha! Education :
Strong-willed guys are energetic and courageous. They want to learn something for themselves and not accept what others have to say, so they test the limits over and over again. They desperately want to be “responsible” for themselves and sometimes put their desire to be “right” above all else. When their heart is tuned in to something, their brains seem to have a hard time shifting gears. Strong guys have great passionate feelings and live to the fullest.
There are ways to support your child’s stubbornness by not letting them host the show, but it all starts with the language we use to describe them. Because the way we look at them is likely to be the same as they are. Our words become their inner dialogue, and the word as “stubborn” ( synonymously stubborn, stubborn, stubborn, and uncompromising) is probably not the way we want to label ourselves.
Instead, you can view their “stubbornness” as the embodiment of the tenacity, determination, and perseverance that make today difficult, but which will serve them well in the future.