If People Say Bad Things About You, Think Before Speaking (or Posting Online)
At one point or another, we all say things we regret. Perhaps you have a tendency to make bad jokes (and cannot read around the room). Perhaps you enjoy sharing your hot insights on the latest controversies on social media (and you’re a little confused when outrage turns against you again). Perhaps you are just a little chatterbox.
If you find yourself in any of these situations more often than you would like, consider remembering the acronym to help you better understand what you say, how you say it, and when . Accordingly, it is THINKING.
CONSIDER
If you’re ready to tell me that you don’t need a silly acronym to keep your mouth shut, the lesson THINK taught should definitely get you thinking, as it begs the impulsive speaker to take a step back.
This is what it looks like, where each letter denotes the kinds of intentions that are critical to any good faith interpersonal conversation:
T – TRUE
H – USEFUL
I AM INSPIRING
N – REQUIRED
K – VIEW
Basically, the acronym is meant to serve as a kind of stop sign, forcing you to slow down before you start discussing any topic you might be eager to outline. To begin with, you need to weigh whether your opinion or story contains a lie (True), but it is worth remembering about each subsequent letter.
It’s always worth asking yourself if what you are about to say is helpful and if it contributes to more conversation (inspires). It is also a useful exercise to determine if your comments are really necessary. (How important is it that you express your negative opinion about something your colleagues are discussing with enthusiasm?) Is what you say Kind, especially if you criticize or even joke?
But THINK before you speak
I am not suggesting that you use the five-point acronym before every normal conversation; this is social paralysis. But when it comes to discussions that go beyond debate, or when you’re talking to people who don’t usually annoy you that much, it’s a good idea to quickly and quietly ask yourself a few questions before speaking. It’s the same with social media, where you might be better off turning on your phone’s lock screen and wondering if what you have to say is helpful, truthful, kind, or necessary .
What’s more, suppressing impulsivity will help you listen better. As the Orai public speaking app notes , “It’s almost impossible to add something of value to a discussion or continue a conversation without actively listening,” because “you might end up saying something you don’t mean.”
If you want to avoid inadvertently fomenting the anger of those close to you or not angering people online, then THINKING before you speak is helpful.