How to Stay Sane While Cooking for Others
Now that most of my buds are on their way to full vaccination, I begin feeding them carefully. And while it may take a little re-training when it comes to having fun, casual conversation, I’m happy to report that I’ve already refined my menu planning strategy in case I can cook for other people again.
The main difference between “cooking for me” and “cooking for people I want to value highly” is that the latter requires food . While I may be perfectly satisfied with a plate of cottage cheese and chopped potato chips for dinner, I would never serve it to a guest .
When I cook for friends and family, I show them that I like them and that display translates into at least three components: main and two-sided or main, side and dessert. This is a reasonable amount of food, but I may be completely unfounded as to how complex and unusual each ingredient should be, so I developed a rule to keep myself in check when planning the menu. To stay sane when preparing food for other people, you must do one thing – and only one thing – from each of the following categories.
- Something that can be done in advance – it could be days or hours ahead – it’s up to you. But basically, you need at least one dish that you can cook and then forget before serving. A cold salad, homemade bread, dessert, or even a meat dish that is best served cold or at room temperature are all good options.
- Things you can ignore: It could be a dish that can be broiled, grilled very slowly, or cooked in an instant saucepan or slow cooker. This can be your protein (such as pork tenderloin or chicken thighs ), but fried carrots, baked potatoes, or rice cooked in a rice cooker or instant pot are also fine.
- Something that needs your attention: Anything that requires fiddling, looking, flipping, or spinning. Delicate vegetables, grilled meats or expensive steaks fall into this category.
Want the fourth thing? Buy it or have someone bring it when they ask, “What can I bring?”
The nice thing about this structure is that just about any component can fall into any category, so you can truly imagine whatever you like , which will keep you relatively calm but not tire you out. The resulting proposal might look like grilled chicken thighs (category 3) with carrot salad (category 1) and baked potatoes (category 2); or it could look like an Instant Pot pork shoulder (category 2), with some homemade rolls (category 1) and asparagus stew (category 3). I almost always outsource dessert, but if you’d rather bake something sweet than something spicy, you can buy scones and bake a pie. However, if you want a dessert that falls into category 1, slice fresh fruit beforehand and serve with a jug of cold heavy cream .
If you don’t want to cook all three ingredients, that’s okay too! I always advocate doing less, not doing more, and outsourcing as much as necessary to keep your sanity in check, especially if you’re new to cooking or new to cooking for other people. Cooking for four requires a different skill set than cooking for one, and overwhelming yourself with overly valuable menus only sucks the joy out of the former.