What to Say When Someone Mocks You
The term gaslighting – that is, psychological manipulation, not a 19th century profession – has been used frequently in the last decade or so. And while it can be abused and abused, understanding the concept as a whole has been helpful for many people who have experienced this type of behavior from a partner, colleague, family member, or friend but did not find a word for it.
There are many articles out there that talk about gaslighting, its origins and what it entails, but in a nutshell, it has to do with making the other person doubt – and doubt – their own memories of something. so it brings them some benefit. … In an article for mindbodygreen, therapist Alyssa Mancao discusses some of the signs that you have gas and what to say to the person behind the manipulative behavior.
How to know if you are on gas
First, Mancao says it’s important to recognize the symptoms of gaslighting, which she explains here :
When a person is constantly pumped with gas, they begin to show signs of low self-esteem and emotional dependence on the abuser. During a conflict, when someone is bullying you, you can experience a range of emotions, from confusion and anger to frustration and getting into arguments, both aloud and mentally. This type of back and forth movement is tiring and can affect your self-confidence.
Some of the more common gaslighting phrases include:
- “You are making it up.”
- “It never happened.”
- “You are dramatic.”
- “You are inflating things disproportionately.”
Support yourself
This is easier said than done when you run into someone who is constantly trying to belittle and manipulate you, but Mancao says it is important that you believe yourself, even if your gaslighter is trying to distort your own truths, memories and perceptions of the past. … It can be helpful to record events in the form of notes of how you feel at the time something happens.
What to say to the one who is following you
If you yourself got into such a situation, then you know how difficult it can be. As Mancao points out, some of the basic methods of gaslighting include blatant lies, narrative changes, and attempts to minimize your feelings and experiences. “Entering a conversation with a sense of your purpose will help you stay on track, rather than straying in different directions that gaslighting can lead,” she writes.
Also, don’t be afraid to just end the conversation and walk away – that’s also an option. “The goal of the gaslighting person is to make you question your perception, so leaving before the gaslighting gets serious is a way to preserve your perception of events,” explains Mancao.
If some specific phrases in your pocket help, Mancao suggests the following :
- “My feelings and reality are correct. I do not like that you tell me that I am too sensitive. “
- “Don’t tell me how to feel; this is how I feel. “
- “I am allowed to study these topics and conversations with you. Don’t tell me I’m dramatic. “
- “I know what I saw.”
- “I will not continue this conversation if you continue to play down how I feel.” (Then implement the border.)
In the end, try to be kind to yourself, even if it means leaving.