How to Help Older Children Who Still Wet Their Bed
Potty training is a task that parents of young children all dread for many reasons. It is difficult to know when they are really ready; too many methods to choose from; once you start, you really don’t want to stop; Some children take much longer or require more consistency than others; they will pee in the pot, but not poop. And every parent has one annoying friend who swears he potty trained his 2 year old in about a day. (Shut up! Shut up, damn it.)
However, when you embark on this journey, you may not think that even when you’re always ready to urinate on the toilet, what happens next is a whole bunch of “accidents.” There are daytime accidents that mainly happen because they forget to go to the potty, those that happen because their little bladder doesn’t hold it long enough to get to it, or those that can be attributed to the fact that the public toilet flushes too loudly .
But what’s even more difficult to overcome is the night accidents through which they sleep, only wake up when it’s too late and they are completely wet and shivering. Some children get through this phase quite quickly, but for others it can literally take years to get through it .
Causes of prolonged bedwetting
Before you became the father of long-term urinary incontinence, you may not have realized that some children have been struggling with it for as long as they have. But while this can be frustrating for parents and embarrassing for children, it is actually quite common. The American Academy of Pediatrics reports that approximately 20 percent of children have bedwetting problems by age five, and up to 10 percent still have bedwetting problems by age seven. By late adolescence, this figure is between one and three percent.
While long-term bedwetting may seem to last forever, it is important for parents to remember that this is probably not a major health problem and they are outgrowing it. But why is it a struggle for some children, but not for others? This is what the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia lists as the most common cause of bedwetting in older children:
- In many cases, bedwetting is a genetic pattern inherited from a parent, aunt, or uncle.
- Most older children who wet their bed sleep very soundly, so the full bladder signals are not strong enough to wake them up.
- Some children have small bladders or do not produce enough hormone (vasopressin) that decreases urine production during sleep.
- Bed-wetting can be caused by stress and family changes, even positive ones, such as having a baby or changing sleep patterns while on vacation.
Tips for Reducing Bedwetting
Although bedwetting in older children will mostly improve over time and with age, there are still a few things that parents and children can try to help reduce incidents.
Limit fluid intake in the evening
What children eat and drink during the day affects their bodies in the evening. Focus on keeping them hydrated early in the day rather than quenching your thirst in the afternoon. If they engage in sports or other physical activity during the day, give them a drink before playing to further limit fluid intake.
You should also try to train them to use the toilet regularly throughout the day (about every two to three hours), even if they don’t feel the urge to go. And, of course, before bed.
Bedwetting Alarms
You can try waking your child up once at night to urinate (but no more, as too much wakefulness will disrupt his sleep patterns). You can also try the bedwetting signal, which many children and parents have successfully dealt with, but only if you actually stick to it. Here’s what the AAP has to say about bedwetting alarms:
Research shows that about half of children who use enuretic (nighttime) alarms correctly stay dry at night after a few weeks. These alarms beep or vibrate when baby’s underwear gets wet. Over time, the brain learns to associate the feeling of needing a toilet with turning on the alarm, getting up and going to the bathroom. This therapy requires the active participation of an adult so that the child is fully awake and goes to the bathroom when the alarm goes off.
Talk to your doctor
If bedwetting has spread after age 5, or has returned after an extended period of dryness, you may want to discuss other options with your pediatrician. Their doctor is likely to ask questions about their sleep patterns, family history, and any potential stressors they currently face.
The doctor may choose to have urinalysis or other medical tests to rule out any possible signs of illness or infection. You can also take medication. A pediatrician can help you find a solution that works best for you and your child.
Don’t ever put them to shame
Prolonged bedwetting can be frustrating for children and parents, but it is very important that you never shame your child about it. Children may already be embarrassed or anxious about it, and this can lower their self-esteem, especially if they feel it is preventing them from going to camp overnight or spending the night with friends or other family members.
Remind them (and yourself) that it’s okay, it’s not their fault, and it’s out of their control. Use a waterproof mattress topper, keep clean sheets handy so you can quickly change them, and focus on taking the steps you and their doctor deem best.